Tag: oscar

Mar 01 2025 March 1, 2025 March 1, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Me and mom had a BAD fight today. Words were said. Bad ones. So I had a shitty day. Now I’m hunkered down in my chair, bored as hell. I don’t know what to do, really. 

I’m back to taking long naps in the afternoons and sometimes later at night. I’m not happy. I see my psychiatrist next week. I will ask her to do something about it.

Oscar has his vet appointment also next week and as I said before, I dread it. I hope he’s okay. I plan on putting him back on Hills Science Diet and wet food every couple of days because that’s what I can afford. I went all this time without knowing much about cat health and that’s my fault. I just did what I always did with my past cats. I didn’t know about ckd or anything like that. I really should have studied it more before he became a senior cat. Now he’s 10 and I feel like I could have done a lot more for his health. I’m getting ahead of myself again because I don’t know if anything is actually wrong with him. I always imagine the worst case scenario.

I think I’m going to try Chime mobile banking. Telco’s app has turned to shite and I can’t depend on it anymore. I’m going to test chime out and see if it’s any better before doing anything rash.

Edit: god damnit! A bunch of my anime fanlistings are on troubles at TAFL!!! I sent ALL the moved or closed forms in a long time ago, I even wrote about it here. I only received an email about one of them from the staff even though a whole bunch are on troubles. I honestly think something is going on with their email, and I do not want to be punished for some glitch, or for someone not checking that email. I do not need that strike on my record. I’m going to email the staff, hopefully it goes through. 😑

Edit 2: okay I emailed all the senior staff. I asked if someone could look into the matter.

As if my day wasn’t shitty enough, now I have that to stress over…


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Feb 27 2025 February 27, 2025 February 27, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I feel like my face is covered in cat hairs. My face itches and my eyes itch. I just brushed Oscar to try to get rid of some of it. I don’t brush him often enough. I have never seen such a freaking pile of hair in my life. He is getting sheared this summer, I swear to god.


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Feb 24 2025 February 24, 2025 February 24, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I’m trying out Spotify for the first time today, I used it in the car. I like it so far. There’s a ton of really diverse playlists that others have made. I think I used it on my tv once before on my ps4. The only thing I don’t like is, probably like most people, the ads. I’m not paying $11 a month for premium. Kind of ridiculous.

I like watching police body cam videos because they can either be entertaining or scary. I saw one the other night of this raging drunk girl who I think also took something else, because she was both really happy AND belligerent somehow. She told the officer “You have a moustache! I don’t trust you!” And he said “I know it’s not a very good moustache, sorry.” And I thought that was hilarious for some reason. To counter that funny one, I saw another one with dad in which the cops were doing a welfare check on a woman who was scared of her husband because she had filed for divorce, and the house was just full of corpses. 8 of them. Of course they were blurred out. The guy had killed his whole family. It was extremely disturbing. People are so fucked up it’s crazy. Why’d he have to kill his kids? They were completely innocent in the situation.

I’m starting to worry about Bobbie. She hasn’t answered my text from yesterday. I keep thinking she’s been fired or something. I hope not. 🙁 I would really miss her. Hope she answers.

Oscar finally has a vet appointment and I do dread it because I’m scared the vet will tell me he has diabetes or ckd or both. That would destroy me. I love him like my own kid. He’s my best bud. I just want him to be okay. I should have kept him on Hills Science Diet even though it is a little bit expensive. I’m going to put him back on it regardless. I’m gonna cry when he begs for treats though. Maybe I’ll sneak him one once in a while…

My stupid banking app is no longer subtracting the pending transactions from my available funds. That’s why my money got fucked up this month. I’m going to the bank tomorrow to ask why this is and what kind of ridiculous update they did to make this happen. If they don’t fix it, I might change banks, maybe online banking this time. Pain in the ass!

Edit: I looked up the Greymatter blogging software on a whim and someone has updated it on GitHub! It is also possible to import WordPress posts. I’m seriously considering switching over. I appreciate its simplicity and customisability. I could make my own layouts like I used to. We shall see!


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Feb 05 2025 February 5, 2025 February 5, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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About the domain, the two friends I asked said different ones lol. I’m back where I started. I am leaning towards Endymion.am, but I also like crystaltokyo.org and wonder if I could find something to do with it aside from fanlistings.

I had a 90 minute eye appointment today and talked to them about contacts. Medicaid does not cover anything about contacts and a pack is probably about $30 or thereabouts. The problem is the cost of the fitting. That will be about $100-150. I had contacts when I was about 16 and I don’t remember any of that kind of cost. I’m still gonna pay it, I refuse to wear glasses again. I’m so sick of them. If I could get silhouettes or silhouette knockoffs I would be more open to it. I have a pair of ollllld silhouettes and wondered how much lenses would cost. I asked and they would be over $200. My silhouettes are almost invisible on my face. That’s why I liked them. I absolutely despise rims.

I am so worried about Oscar. I think he’s sick. His nose now has hard places and is not usually cold and wet like it should be. I don’t know if he’s depressed or it’s something physical. He’s going to the vet next month when I can afford it. I hate to leave him hanging that long. I’m very worried and nervous the vet will say something unpleasant. I love my cat. He’s my baby. If something happens to him….I don’t know what I’d do.


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Jan 23 2025 January 23, 2025 January 24, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Oscar did the most unhinged thing he’s ever done while I was in the shower. He actually jumped in with me. And would not get out. I almost screamed when he touched my leg. He finally got out on his own. The hell, buddy? Are you going nuts? Oh, he jumped in again after I got out and started licking the shower floor 🤢  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

Jeebus!

Edit: Now I’m in bed and he’s lying next to me with a very smug look on his face.

Edit 2: I watched the video I made and what the fook? I must have said “very nice” about 15 times throughout its 40+ minute run time! Borat pics are definitely making an appearance when I’m editing. Also “I like it” was frequent, but not as much as “very nice”. What is wrong with me lol. I must have been a little nervous.

Listening to: Seraphim Shock – After Dark


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Jan 19 2025 January 19, 2025 January 19, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Oscar needs a vet checkup, badly. Tonight he started acting kind of weird (for one, he jumped up in the fridge and did NOT want to come out) and I said to myself  “whatever, buddy’s just having an off day.” But when he hopped up on the bed and came near my face….oh lort, the smell. His breath is RANK. This just started tonight. His breath is usually standard fishy cat breath, but tonight…he wasn’t even facing me and I was smelling it really strong. What really scared me was that I perceived that it smelled kind of sickly-sweet and that is a sign of chronic kidney disease in cats. I can’t describe how this is freaking me out. I just want him to live a long, happy life. Maybe I’m paranoid and smelling it wrong? He’s going as soon as I can get him an appointment.


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Apr 22 2024 April 22, 2024 April 22, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Oscar has been doing a weird head twitch for the past half hour. He seems on edge about something. Keeps whipping his head around to look behind. He used to spaz out really bad but hasn’t done that in years. Could it be a nervous thing? I totally get it, I have a bad nervous head twitch myself.

I’m upset about the score I received on my IQ test. 105. It should have been 116 but my slow processing of information dropped it down to that. I tested at 132 in Junior High. What would cause my IQ to drop so drastically? I have noticed in recent years that my writing style has changed, not for the better. Sometimes I don’t know how to express myself in words. It’s almost like I don’t know how to put words together sometimes. I AM worried about my mental health. I should talk to my therapist about it but I’m afraid she’ll tell me something unpleasant.

Speaking of that, my psychiatric evaluation should be ready in about a week, so they can give it to the art group I’m trying to get into again. I’m worried because I don’t have a portfolio to speak of. Last time, circa 2009, I had a good one and got in easily. I haven’t drawn much of anything since 2018-19 so I consider everything before that to be non-representative of my talent. I don’t think I could show them that stuff in a fair manner, because I can’t produce that type of art right now. I want to show them I have some artistic skills…but I’m not sure how to do that. I don’t have anything to show. What am I supposed to do? What are they gonna want to see? I have no clue! Like I said before, I want to try tufting. I have no idea if they’ll be up for that, because it’s a relatively small investment in the materials and tools, which I can’t afford myself. I don’t know how well funded they are, my town is kind of known for its artsy hipsterness. However, this art group bills to Medicaid…and the government is not known to care much about art and mental health, at least I have experienced it that way. The last time I was there, our delightful local government cut their funding way down. Like totally slashed it. They must be doing at least okay, because they have something like three buildings they use.

I’ll stop rambling on now. Good night, internet. 😺


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Apr 15 2024 April 15, 2024 April 15, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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This cat just dipped his head in a can of cheese dip. Not his face, the top and back of his head. How, you may ask, did he achieve this athleticism? I DONT KNOW


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Apr 13 2024 April 13, 2024 April 13, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Got my pc set up! Mostly thanks to dad. The last time I was “tech savvy” was 20+ years ago. Now I’m just dumb so I need help lol

I just realized I didn’t get the tower in this pic. It’s probably the coolest part!

Also that desk is an absolute piece of shite, I am getting a new one asap. Part of it fell off because I leaned on it just a bit. And the keyboard tray is janky as fuck, definitely not buying one from Wayfair this time. I’m amazed it survived the move to this apartment honestly.

And here’s my cat, just because.

Look at his royal ass

 

edit: I went ahead and got a desk 🥴

 


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Feb 01 2024 February 1, 2024 February 1, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I ordered two console shelves that will hopefully help me get stuff organized in the game/art room. What I really need is a neat-freak friend to help me hide all the god forsaken WIRES….they have taken over the floor and behind the tv. I have so much crap to plug in that I’ve bought power strips (or whatever they’re called) to have more sockets. Honestly it’s probably a fire hazard. I’m trying to set up the room with lots of glowy LED things and string lights.. I really want an atmospheric room to just chill, watch movies, and game in. The excessive wires are killing the vibe though.

My shit demon cat keeps making dashes for the door when I leave, and most times he actually gets out and I have to grab him. He also slips out almost undetected, it’s difficult to see him because he’s so slippery and fast. I’m super paranoid the maintenance guy will come when I’m not home and accidentally let him out without seeing him. I told the property manager to ALWAYS call my mom before maintenance guy comes. Last time they did not do that and I was really upset, good thing I had Oscar in bed with me at the time with the door shut. I worry obsessively about that cat because he’s dumb and doesn’t learn from his experiences, and also he’s just not the brightest creature, probably because of a head injury he received as a kitten. Dumb but happy, at least!

In other boring news, I’m trying to make my handwriting better. I inherited the German chicken scratch handwriting from Dads side of the family. I looked back on German family records going back 150 years, they ALL had terrible handwriting! I remember in grade school, I would forget to sign assignments with my name, and the teacher held it up and said “Who wrote this? It has to be a boys handwriting! It’s so messy.” I was embarrassed lol. I was thinking of ordering an adult’s handwriting book off Amazon designed to help penmanship. I also think the bad penmanship has something to do with autism, because I have heard of this problem before with autistic people. I got a bad handwriting combo I guess! 75% German DNA and autism haha

I don’t even know what the fark I’m rambling on about anymore. Good night internet, I’m off to bed.


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