So, I forgot I had a blog. O_o

I know this is the second program I’ve said this about, but Procreate for iPad Pro has a hell of a learning curve! I’ve been watching tutorials on YouTube and I’m starting to understand it a bit better. I really want to get back into drawing.

I also have made a separate site for my drawings and other art that I’ll post here when I’m done with it.

Got myself a moderately expensive Nutribullet blender today. My rent is down $60 so it wasn’t a big hit to my finances. I am attempting to develop better eating habits, and since I have trouble with the texture of a lot of foods, especially vegetables, I thought why not make them in smoothie form and disguise the taste with fruit? No bad texture, hopefully no bad taste.

I have Covid. I went all this time without getting it. I’m fully vaccinated. THREE family members have died from it, which makes me more concerned about my parents and cat catching it from me. I took a home test last night which showed negative, however today I felt so bad I went to an urgent care clinic and they tested me there. I was about to crawl out of my freaking skin last night and this morning. I can’t stand being sick. It’s been literally years since I’ve been sick and I think I forgot how to tolerate it.

I read how common it is to pass it to a cat or dog, it’s some crazy percentage that I never expected. I thought it was very uncommon but it isn’t. Oscar had pneumonia a while back and I worry that makes him more susceptible to getting a serious case. Most animals seem to have mild symptoms. He already sneezes a lot and seems congested.

I’ve been in bed all day except when I went to the urgent care.

Dude…Ray Liotta and Andy Fletcher died! This year really does suck 🙁

Oh my god, I was watching a video on YouTube about “when tools go wrong” and it had the typical story about a girl getting scalped by a machine but surviving, so I wasn’t too bothered . Someone in the comments mentioned the “Russian lathe accident“ and how fucked it was. I was curious so I looked it up on Reddit hoping to read what happened… well I ended up in r/goryaccidents and the video just started automatically before I even knew what I was looking at and omg I am so fucking traumatized right now. The guy got caught in the lathe and parts of him were flying everywhere. I really wish I had not seen that. Really.

Trying to not sleep this afternoon because it makes it difficult to sleep at night. I really need something to do. I do wish I had friends around here, everyone I know that I actually like lives all around the country/world. The people I know here that are supposed to be my friends are incredibly flaky and one tries to use me like an ATM 😕 bleh.

I found a Moi Dix Mois CD at the record store 😮 I was looking through the metal and I caught a glimpse of who I thought looked like Mana-Sama. I was kind of confused because I never find things like that here, but you better bet I got it! I also bought some Dimmu Borgir, Cruachan, and My Dying Bride. I was tempted to get more but they are an expensive place, even for used CDs and records. They cost as much as if they were new.


Dad says he can “feel himself dying“. He has a lot of problems with horrible chronic pain and a failed back, and this anti-opioid hysteria has caused the DEA to harass his doctors so they won’t write his prescriptions anymore. He got a letter from Medicare that they won’t pay for his most important pain meds anymore. It’s completely fucked. America is SO fucking backwards. They are punishing law abiding people who get medication they truly need from reputable doctors, because some people abuse medications. It is not fair and it fucking PISSES ME OFF. Dad is in so much pain he can’t even sit down, he mostly stands, maybe for the last month. He has so many other problems that I cannot discuss here, but believe me when I say it’s fucking awful. He really thinks he is dying. He’s so depressed and actually cried a little this morning. Dad never cries.

I am going to write a strongly worded letter to my congressperson and senators because it’s all I can really do to help. Will they listen? I have no idea, but this ridiculous punishment of innocent people who NEED their medication has to stop.

As someone with bulging and ruptured discs in their back, I could end up like this and not have decent meds to control the pain. I have chronic pain too, but it’s nothing like his. But I’m unfortunately on that path, I think. I’ll be screwed without good meds. Everyone with this kind of pain will be screwed. This country is straight up DUMB sometimes in how it handles stuff. Our government is so damn stupid and tone-deaf. I don’t even have words for the contempt I feel. People are nothing but a number to them.

Last night I had a bizarre dream. I dreamt that scientists found Hell. They had noticed a weird empty band in space and decided to send a probe to study it. The probe entered the area and yep, it was hell. People writhing about, burning in a fiery pit. The devil was wearing a teal-blue wetsuit thing and had the creepiest grin on his face. So basically hell is in space and satan has a wetsuit fetish.

That dream has been in my head all damn day, I needed to write it out. I also dreamt, in the same dream, that the world was possibly ending and there were tornadoes everywhere, which is a thing I dream about really often. I have no idea what meaning tornadoes have in dreams. Maybe chaos? Nah, too obvious. It’s probably something really cryptic. 😅

Anyhoo. ANOTHER apartment inspection is being done this week, which is really miserable for me and everyone else in this apartment complex. It lasts the whole freaking week. I got lucky this time and he inspected mine yesterday while I was gone. Oh, and there’s a state inspection on April 14th! Yay! I’m so tired of these.

I want to draw so badly but just don’t have the energy. I’m too tired, all the time. I also get angry at myself because when I do draw, it never looks like I intended.


People stress me out. They butt in where they aren’t wanted, share unsolicited opinions and emotionally blackmail other people. It makes me want to become a cave hermit. If someone comes near I’ll just shake my stick at them and shout.