Oscar has been doing a weird head twitch for the past half hour. He seems on edge about something. Keeps whipping his head around to look behind. He used to spaz out really bad but hasn’t done that in years. Could it be a nervous thing? I totally get it, I have a bad nervous head twitch myself.

I’m upset about the score I received on my IQ test. 105. It should have been 116 but my slow processing of information dropped it down to that. I tested at 132 in Junior High. What would cause my IQ to drop so drastically? I have noticed in recent years that my writing style has changed, not for the better. Sometimes I don’t know how to express myself in words. It’s almost like I don’t know how to put words together sometimes. I AM worried about my mental health. I should talk to my therapist about it but I’m afraid she’ll tell me something unpleasant.

Speaking of that, my psychiatric evaluation should be ready in about a week, so they can give it to the art group I’m trying to get into again. I’m worried because I don’t have a portfolio to speak of. Last time, circa 2009, I had a good one and got in easily. I haven’t drawn much of anything since 2018-19 so I consider everything before that to be non-representative of my talent. I don’t think I could show them that stuff in a fair manner, because I can’t produce that type of art right now. I want to show them I have some artistic skills…but I’m not sure how to do that. I don’t have anything to show. What am I supposed to do? What are they gonna want to see? I have no clue! Like I said before, I want to try tufting. I have no idea if they’ll be up for that, because it’s a relatively small investment in the materials and tools, which I can’t afford myself. I don’t know how well funded they are, my town is kind of known for its artsy hipsterness. However, this art group bills to Medicaid…and the government is not known to care much about art and mental health, at least I have experienced it that way. The last time I was there, our delightful local government cut their funding way down. Like totally slashed it. They must be doing at least okay, because they have something like three buildings they use.

I’ll stop rambling on now. Good night, internet. 😺