Tag: Cunts on the internet

Oct 28 2025 October 28, 2025 October 29, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Oh god I’m so relieved!! I thought I accidentally overdrew my account last night while paying off Affirm and Klarna bills. I really thought I was gonna wind up  $100-200 in the red! I went to the bank and they are so helpful. That’s why I love Telco. They do not get annoyed with me even though I misunderstand stuff and ask for help sometimes. The lady that helped me explained some things about the app that I just couldn’t understand for whatever dumb reason and assured me I wasn’t overdrawn. I have $143 left, actually and just used $100 of it to pay off half my credit card.

I’m using $20 to get a friggin buzz when Lauren comes to get me. My hair is driving me bonkers, it’s doing the thing where it forms a literal POINT on top of my head and it looks so stupid. I don’t know why that’s the default state of my hair once it grows out too much, and there’s no way to comb it down either. Can’t wait to be rid of that 😅

The vet assistant actually did have an emergency yesterday and that’s why she didn’t come pick up Oscar. I hope no animals were harmed. She’s supposed to be here to get him any time now. I just wanna put my jammies on and eat dinner but I’m having to wait. I need to be cozy in my jammies and eat my delicious chick-fil-a which is still in the bag.

Ah, she just came and took him. Shouldn’t take long, it’s just a sugar check. That reminds me I still need to get a sugar kit on Amazon. They’re made specifically for cats.

Im still pissed about the Albanese Joy Division shirt kerfluffle 😂 I wanna tell them how dumb they are (Sky News Australia I mean as well as commenters who bought the bullshit) but I hate hate HATE arguing on the internet. So, so much. I hate drama and never start it myself, ever.

Anyhoo

Mom was driving me home Sunday night, and one of my favourite songs came on. “Richard Hung Himself” by D.I., a punk band. The song is from 1983 and played a big part in the soundtrack to the movie Suburbia. She said “Richard hung himself?! I thought I was hearing it wrong until I saw the title!” It was funny, guess you had to be there 😅 I explained the song and she wasn’t offended or anything lol. My mom is 75 and we listen to my music together almost every day. I swear this woman has been exposed to far more music than most 75 year old moms. She says she likes the majority of what I play, mostly the goth stuff. That’s pretty cool. She’s 75, but she’s what I would call a rocker, even though she looks nothing like that. I’m really hoping she’ll wear the super cool T-shirts I’m getting her for Christmas, even though they have short sleeves. I got her a very subtle Wednesday Addams shirt that says “I don’t evolve, I cocoon.” She likes the Addams Family, but I really got it because of the cocoon reference. Every day when she drives me home, I say “Go home and cocoon.” 😬 That’s what we call putting on a blanket and curling up on the couch, which is her favourite part of the day lol. I still haven’t entirely decided on dads shirts. Mom is getting that one, The Beatles, and Queen. Dad is getting “I have rabies” and…lmao I forgot which ones I had in mind besides that. I get stupider by the day, I swear. Maybe I should get him a Queen shirt as well, all three of us are Queen fans so I know he’d like it. Hmmm

So Friday is Hallowe’en/Samhain. We go out to eat on Friday nights, but I don’t know if we’ll go anyplace special. I’m really hoping I see kids trick or treating on the streets rather than those stupid “Trunk or Treats” they have at Churches,  because I feel like churches killed Halloween at least around here! I feel resentment for that. Even if they’re just trick or treating at the stores in downtown, at least they’re out. Nobody goes house to house anymore, which I find depressing. It also makes me feel so thankful that I did most of my growing up in the 90s when trick or treating was normal. I usually had a friend with me and even though we were young, my parents gave us space and lagged quite a distance behind, while still keeping their eyes on us. It was a wonderful experience as a kid and was SO different than it is now. Kids go out only in the daylight now, and sometimes not even on Hallowe’en, which is just lame. The city council determines when the stores hand out candy 🙄 No such thing when I was a kid, and we always went out ON Hallowe’en, didn’t matter if we had school the next day. We also went out towards dusk and stayed out probably until 9 or 10pm. People seem to be allergic to that kind of fun now. It’s more fun in the dark 😸 I’m so glad I had a normal, non-sterilised experience. I did wind up in a church one Hallowe’en though, which was a godawful experience 😂 I wrote about that at some point. They also didn’t give us candy. Today, that experience would probably count as some kind of child abuse 🤣 haha

Oscar just got back and I have to reduce his insulin to 1.5 units, which can’t be done with a lantus pen. I am not yet comfortable with syringes. I’m scared I’d accidentally give him too much and kill my own cat. The vet assistant told me which kind to buy at Walmart and said she’d stop by tomorrow and show me exactly how to use it. It sucks to not use the lantus pen anymore because it was so simple. I’m afraid I’ll have to buy insulin as well, because it’s about $100 for one bottle even though it lasts for months. That means I’ll have to make more claims on his insurance. I haven’t even made the first claim yet because I have to make a video and I’m scared I’ll say something wrong and they’ll deny me. I’m asking Lauren to help me do that tomorrow. She’s very proactive and structured and I love that about her. Makes my life so much easier, and even better, more productive. Doing things I’ve been meaning to do for a while but procrastinated on. Anyhow when I got his insurance I had no clue that making a claim would require a video and various other things, which is something that should have been disclosed! Ahhh I don’t wanna. But I must.

Well, I’m finally in my jammies and under a blanket and my delicious magic chicken sandwiches await me. Have a good one, internet.


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Oct 28 2025 October 28, 2025 October 28, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I just saw a video in which some politician (Albanese I think?) wore a fucking Joy Division shirt and some morons are giving him grief about it because of their name.

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Sep 11 2025 September 11, 2025 September 16, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Ya know….of the 8 billion people on this planet, I honestly think an ungodly percentage have less than good intentions towards other humans. I can’t say I’ve lost my faith in humanity, because I NEVER HAD ANY TO START WITH. None! Zero zip zilch. I know this is very un-Christian of me, but…fuck em. I didn’t expect to suddenly start liking people after I converted. And I certainly haven’t. I don’t know if I ever will, actually.

There are a lot of soulless bastards out there. They celebrate political assassinations because people with different beliefs must be eliminated, right? They’re fascists! They don’t even know the definition of “fascist”. Basically, their philosophy is “everyone I don’t like is LITERALLY HITLER”. Fucking insane. Some are celebrating the murder of the Ukrainian woman on the Charlotte light rail, which is not that far from me. Because of her complexion. I’m fucking disturbed this happened in my state. Our shite governor barely had anything to say about it, he had to be shamed into it. Just like Helene last year, he did not care. Many also take glee on the 24th anniversary of almost 3,000 people being horribly maimed and murdered. If you’re okay with any of that, get fucking bent, and then seek professional help. In that order.

I’m done dealing with the majority of people, even the ones I used to call close friends, because some of them actually are kind of like this. I didn’t find that out until facebook came along. Seeing every fucking disgusting thought that crosses someone’s mind in the form of a status can really cause resentment. I was thinking “How the hell am I friends with this person?!” upon learning exactly how they thought of people like me. They never say it to you directly, they just say horrible shit that is obviously aimed at people with similar beliefs to mine. Once I found out how they really felt, I was done. Totally done. I abandoned that hellscape of a site about three years ago. I don’t really have social media. It did wonders for my mental health. Doomscrolling on facebook and realising a lot of your friends are very nasty people is….well, it massively fucked with my head. Made me depressed. Anxious. Afraid to speak out. It was SO unhealthy! Sometimes you just have to untether yourself from the bullshit. Cut the line. Be free.

Sometimes I’m scared to write blog posts about how I’m really feeling. I’ll post and wind up deleting it later out of sheer anxiety. People are so virulently hostile these days. It’s actually frightening. Back in the early 2000s, I used to deal with “flaming” all the damn time. If you had an online presence, it came with the territory. However, it was mostly tame stuff like “ur gay lol”, “ur art sux”, posting pics of wieners repeatedly on your tagboard (yes that happened lol) or my absolute favourite one, “your face looks like a slapped arse!”. Haha. Now, people say shit like “you deserve to die” or other threatening stuff. Things have changed so much in 25 years. People have gone totally batshit. Coo coo bonkers. You can’t have a dissenting opinion without some creep wishing death on you or threatening to doxx or whatever. IRL, they try to incite violence on people they disagree with. Seen that too many times. It’s crazy.

TL;DR: people are gross, icky creatures that desperately need to re-evaluate themselves, their morals, and their actions.


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Sep 11 2025 September 11, 2025 September 11, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Humans are the vilest of creatures. Animals don’t kill out of malice. Only us.


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Jul 07 2025 July 7, 2025 July 7, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I saw the saddest thing last night…under the cut.

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Jul 04 2025 July 4, 2025 July 7, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Me complaining under the cut.

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May 20 2025 May 20, 2025 May 20, 2025 NoComment by Eden

Ahhhhh

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I got good news today! I got to see the results of my bloodwork and my a1c is 6.4!!! My diabetes is under control! I wonder what the number has to be for it to go into remission. Should have asked that. Anyhow, that is the lowest my a1c has been since I became diabetic in 2008. I’m not sure how I did it, though! Maybe because I don’t really snack on junk food anymore and have been snacking on tons of grapes instead? I go through bags of grapes really fast lol. I also lost nine fricken pounds!!!! How, I don’t know. When doc weighed me, I said I didn’t want to know because it would just stress me out. When she told me my weight had actually gone down, I asked what it was and it is 213lb. I was totally shocked because I was convinced I had gained a lot. I don’t know, I just feel fatter! I can’t really tell when I lose weight. I don’t understand that at all. If I can get under 200 I’ll be ecstatic. I was thinking of trying intermittent fasting.

Mom had an actual list of things to talk to her about 😆 I asked about the horrible restless leg that never lets up and I got something for that. For my sore tongue, I got folic acid supplements. I also got some vitamin b12. There was plenty more but I’m drawing a blank 😅

After that very productive visit, I went to my dermatologist to check on my scalp for any signs of infection. I asked about something to control the eczema on my scalp and he told me to use that t-sal shampoo. I hate those, so I’m gonna exfoliate once every week. Ever since I exfoliated for the first few times, months ago, it has not been nearly as bad and it’s been quite a while since I last did it. I figured once a week was enough. Exfoliating basically cured it. If I don’t do it for a loooong time, it comes back just a little bit. If I do it regularly I no longer have that problem, which is a weight off my shoulders because I was obsessed with it, always touching my scalp to see how bad it was (and it was bad) and cringing mightily over it. It upset me so much! It had been that way since I first noticed it in 2006. Never got a break from it until this year. Thank God.

As for the breathing issue, it’s been pretty tame today. My doctor sent a request for a chest x-ray. The hospital takes walk ins for that stuff, so I went and did that. Doc will have the results soon. I really hope they don’t find anything bad. Kinda nervous about that.

All in all, this was a VERY productive day. I am pleased with what we got done. Tomorrow I have that darn inspection for which I have to be up by 8:30am. They usually are really fast because there aren’t tons of section 8 apartments in my complex. They don’t have to do that much. After that, my ass is going to bed. I have to wake up again to go see my therapist. I think there’s something else but it’s slipped my mind 🥴 THIS is why mom keeps the huge calendar for everybody’s appointments! We’d be lost without that thing.

I went and got Japanese takeout which was pretty good. They left the tails on my jumbo shrimp though. I didn’t get a steak combo because it was so nasty last time I decided to give it a try. Jumbo shrimp and a side of jumbo shrimp with 2 extra cups of shrimp sauce cost 16$ WTF. I personally think that’s way too much. But what are you gonna do 🤷‍♀️

My eyebrows have been fading a lot since they got lasered. It looks weird. I have my next appointment coming up soon and I don’t have the $200. Not sure what I’m gonna do about that. I have multiple things I have to save for but I am not good at saving money. At all.

One last thing. I am so tired of people using neurodivergence as an excuse to be an assbag. They’ll say something rude and when called out on it, they say they’re neurodivergent like that makes it okay and they don’t have apologise for being a jerk. That really gets under my skin. 🙄 This specific incident was on YouTube (because of course it was) and this person was bitching at the YouTuber in a very rude fashion for putting breaks in their videos to allow an “uninterruptive” place for ads, per new YouTube policy for monetisation of videos. She said it “interrupts her thought process” and “induces rage”. Girl, what the fuck do you do when an actual advert comes on? Do you go crazy or what? YouTube has once again made a stupid new policy that makes it more difficult for monetised creators. The YouTuber has explained it a billion times both in her videos and in the comments section. Do some people just not pay attention or what? This person just acted like a total jerk and used neurodivergence as an excuse, and when someone told her she was being a jerk, she called THEM a jerk! 😂 oh lort….some people…


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May 05 2025 May 5, 2025 May 5, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Ugh, this is the third time I’ve eaten McDonalds for dinner in the past two weeks. I gotta stop. I’m really gonna gain some weight back if I continue to do the depression “comfort food” thing. I don’t have the option of Chinese takeout anymore and there’s not much else I want for dinner. I’ve gotten used to bringing food home instead of cooking, but there’s nothing here I want to eat anyways. Meh.

I got my Sandman shirt with the Corinthian design! Never thought I’d see one with my favourite villain. I wonder if the Etsy seller designed it themselves or if it’s a reproduction of an old design. I saw a Death shirt on Etsy that has the exact same design as a shirt I got 20 years ago, which of course I can’t FIND anywhere…I think it’s pretty cool that they do reproductions of vintage designs that would otherwise cost a lot of money if you bought them vintage. I have at least 3 really old (20+ years) Sandman shirts and I can’t find any of them. Then again, I can’t find a ton of my old shirts. They’re probably worth a little money by now, but I wouldn’t sell them. Too sentimental.

Yeah, I know Neil Gaiman has been accused of some pretty nasty crimes, but we need to see if he’s found guilty or not. I try to separate the art from the artists in those cases, and I’ve unfortunately had to do that a lot. If an artist I liked was found to have abused kids or something, I wouldn’t be able to. That reminds me that I’m glad I never really listened to or became a fan of Lostprophets. Ian Watkins is a sick fuck. If a member of a band I loved did what he did, I’d puke myself to death. I checked their Last.fm page out of morbid curiosity and people still listen to his music.

I did a telehealth appointment with my psychiatrist today and she’s adjusting my medication again. Who knows if it will make any difference. I don’t have a lot of hope that it will. She did say she was going to put me on one that’s supposed to help with OCD, compulsions and intrusive thoughts. I really hope that one will do something…anything. If I’m being honest, OCD is the worst thing I have. It’s not just washing your hands over and over. There’s so much more to it, and it can be terrifying. People often forget the about the “obsessive” part. They gloss over it entirely and focus completely on the compulsive because it’s more visible. Okay I don’t want to voluntarily think about that anymore, gonna stop.

I saw a disgusting tiktok of this girl in her 20s doing what amounted to a fucking struggle session with her 82 yo grandpa. This man apparently paid for all her bullshit and she was calling him a “fascist enabler”. He sat there and took it, probably because he loves her for some reason. She complained that the dolls given to her as a child weren’t “diverse enough”. She complained about a lot of shit. This girl is a grade A cuntsicle. She went no contact with him, which was probably in his best interest. She did what my unhinged pos  “uncle” did to my mom not too long ago. I thought Mexican families didn’t tolerate this shit since they are all about family. I guess her parents weren’t around to chew her out properly. Both my grandpas are long passed away. I would adopt this man as my grandpa in a heartbeat. I would appreciate him. She’s going to look back on this and be really ashamed someday especially after he passes away, because I would consider that to be elder abuse. I can’t believe she had the balls to upload that shit to TikTok thinking people were gonna be on her side, even on that toxic ass app 😆 Oh, Gen Z…the generation gap is real as fuck and I feel it hard. Never thought I’d say that. As an older Millennial, I don’t understand them at all. Can’t relate. I don’t get their humour a lot of the time, or the (top 40) music a lot of them listen to. I’m not saying they ALL suck or anything, because I’ve met a few cool zoomers, but a lot of them seem to do really uncool shit that generations before them wouldn’t normally do. Not saying other gens don’t also do these things, but they don’t do it nearly as much. I’m really glad they’re around to take the heat off millennials though 😬

I am debating on whether or not to get this one shirt on etsy. I saw it and cracked up. Only problem is, it’s white and I don’t like white shirts. It’s a Scary Movie 2 reference. It says “take my strong hand” with a graphic of the butler’s shrivelled up little hand 😭 It’s my favourite of the Scary Movie series and that malformed hand always had me deceased. I might ask the seller if they could possibly print it on a black shirt. I gotta at least try, that’s too good to pass up.

I’m looking for a blu ray player for the living room. Mom was kind enough to say she’d help me out with it because I have so many damn Affirm payments every month and I definitely don’t need another one. That’s really nice of her. I wish to fuck I could find a region free blu ray player for under $150. Regions are outdated and silly. I want to be able to buy DVDs/Blu Rays from the UK because the prices are usually lower (especially on box sets of tv shows/anime), and they have things I can’t seem to find anywhere else.

I feel like I’ve been inching closer back to religion and don’t know how to feel about it. Part of me feels like I need it, and the other part feels the opposite. The heck is going on with my brain? 🧐 I started to lose my faith in Jr High. I had doubts and it tortured me because I was sure I was going to burn in hell forever for even questioning. It’s the OCD I mentioned earlier. It was an obsession. Ever since I was about 15, I didn’t have a religion, and anytime I try it again I never stick with it. I dunno. What’s a person to do?


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Mar 22 2025 March 22, 2025 March 22, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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There was a woman (who fancied herself an author lol) on YouTube who was questioning a certain person’s autism and was asking if they had “papers” to prove it. Lady, no neurodivergent person on gods green earth has to prove a god damn thing to you, no matter how much you hate them. Not one of us owes you anything. You overestimate your own importance. Put down the box wine and go to bed.

That really lit a fire under my ass. She made the same stupid comment at least thirty times. You wanna see my fucking diagnosis as well? Questioning someone’s neurodivergence is completely uncalled for and spiteful. They obviously live rent-free in her head, which is just sad and says something about how she must live her life.

Ugh. People. There’s a reason I don’t like them. I need more animals in my life. They’re precious and pure, and the best thing about them is that they’re NOT PEOPLE. 🤗

I got my supposed Ray Ban Wayfarers in the mail and unless Ray Ban has seriously declined in quality over the years, I don’t think they’re legit. They don’t really resemble classic Wayfarers that much. I am very disappointed. I initiated a return and am going to see if I can find a vintage pair. If those actually are Ray Bans…they suck. Those are absolutely not $180 sunglasses. Too good to be true, I reckon. 😑 Should have known better. The whole package was very convincing until I took the sunglasses out and examined them. Someone put in effort to make them look real, the package at least. I wish I could fix the ones I have but I already tried gluing and that didn’t work.

My next psychiatrist appointment is early next month and I’m going to ask her to put me back on the provigil but keep the Vivance, as it has made a significant difference, but it’s not keeping me awake. At all. I feel shitty at night and am too zonked to watch my shows. I hate it. I hate being sleepy, except before I’m actually trying to go to sleep. I’m gonna have to take a nap in a little bit. *sighs* 😕 it’ll last until fucking midnight too. For a while I’ll be half awake but unable to fully wake up. That’s the most annoying part of all.


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Dec 19 2024 December 19, 2024 February 1, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I was watching a video about this man who beat his wife to death on their honeymoon. Of course, a number of the comments were guys saying “ShE pRoBaBlY cHeAtEd On HiM”. There’s no evidence she did, but let’s say she did cheat on him on their honeymoon. Since when is that an excuse to beat someone so badly that they are literally unrecognisable and can’t even be properly embalmed?

I’m not one to throw “incel” around freely but that is some incel behaviour right there. They just hate women because no one will have them, and there’s probably a good reason why. Could be your hygiene, or maybe it’s your shite personality. Who knows! These people need to look inward and try to identify the problem, but they rarely do. They can never take blame or responsibility. It’s always someone else’s fault.

Ugh, that just hit a nerve.

I have two surgeon consultations tomorrow, one after another. We’ll see how much they’re gonna charge. I hope they don’t take too long. Mom can’t be there with me and I’m afraid I’ll somehow mess it up or not understand something and sound totally stupid.

Mom thinks my bipolar is worse since starting the new meds. She says I do things too fast and go from one thing to another really quickly. I don’t know, I haven’t personally noticed anything. She sees it as an outsider so maybe she’s right. I thought that was just my personality, to want to do everything at once because I am impatient.

I also have a consultation on January 7th for my tattoo removal. I want to ask them about filling in a small scar. It is small, but it also really bothers me. Since it is so tiny, maybe it won’t cost too much. It developed literally overnight after I had a bad reaction to my silicone cpap nose mask. It fucked up the whole area around my nose pretty bad. And lo and behold, a scar. Out of nowhere. It’s like a hole in my face. I also want to ask if they’ll cut off these two bumps next to my ear. I feel like I’m getting carried away with that part but I hate my entire face/head and just want to make it tolerable to look at. I know that sounds awful but it’s true. I know I need to talk to my therapist about it and ask about body dysmorphia. I don’t know if that’s something that goes away though. I hate my face and really my entire body, I feel like people judge me, I feel I can’t truly be myself and go out and DO things until I look the way I want. It’s a problem and it’s holding me back, but I don’t see it changing. I wish I could go back to my teenage years and be like I was then. If someone commented negatively on my looks or body, I’d laugh and tell them to fuck off. Now I’m meek and have no confidence. I don’t know what happened. I think it’s mainly my neck, to be honest. When I was a teenager I barely had a little double chin. It wasn’t bad. I didn’t hate my face. I was chubby but it didn’t bother me much. I wish I could be like that again and have the confidence I used to have. I don’t know how to get it back.


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