So I’m reading a book called ‘Healing the creative Wound’. It’s exactly what I needed to hear. Creative wounds are things that happen throughout your life that can dampen your ability to create, or even stop creating at all. I have two that stick out in my mind. These things really messed me up. Maybe they shouldn’t have, but some people are very sensitive souls and I’m one of those people. I care too much what others think, especially friends.
The first happened back in 2003. Yes, twenty years ago. I checked the guestbook on my website and there was a message from a guy that basically said “your art is good but it all looks the same”. I was really confused because I didn’t think that was true. I pored over every drawing I ever did, trying to figure out if they all looked the same, or maybe I had same-face syndrome. In any case, I became extremely paranoid about my art, and suffered an art block for quite some time.
The second happened in 2018 or 19, I can’t remember. I had posted some new art on my art page on Facebook. One of my friends, someone I’ve known since 7th grade, responded with a laugh emoji. It wasn’t a funny drawing. It fucked me up. I was already teetering on the edge of giving up drawing for good and that kind of pushed me over the edge. I have not drawn substantively since, much less actually completing a piece. I have doodled but I can’t seem to get past that.
A fucking laugh emoji. It shouldn’t matter, right? I should’ve just ignored it. But I couldn’t.
Anyhow, the book showed me that many artists have experienced the same thing. The purpose is to let go of the past and heal that creative wound, and I’m really trying. It’s hard because I laser focus on certain stuff, usually hurtful things people have said or done. I can’t get it out of my head. I’m not finished with the book yet, but it has some really great advice for getting past this stuff.
People also need to be aware that sometimes, something you say or do, even if it’s just a fucking emoji, can really impact someone’s life. Especially if you happen to be close with them. Don’t be a dick.