I’ll probably offend some people greatly so…maybe skip the first paragraph if you believe in god! Not a lot to it, but I do not wish to offend anyone!!

If god exists, he is one mean son of a bitch. Dad gets cancer. Dad dies a few months later in February. If you have lost a parent…you know that pain!! And if that has happened to you, I am so sorry you have to go through this pain. No one wants to lay someone they love to rest. Right after dad passed, my back went out for the third time in my life. It’s uncommon and seems to happen every 8 years on average. The first time, like every other time, it happened when I slightly bent to do something, probably washing my hands or something. Bending in that slightest way is always the trigger. I was stuck in dad’s recliner for a few days. Second time, about 10 years ago. Yup, i washed my hands and out it went. That was the day we left for vacation. It was awful for a few days but by then i was walking. Both of those times, i was better in a few weeks! Third time? Bent slightly to pick something up from my bed. Pain in lower back, legs quite literally did not work, landed on my arse and howled so loud im sure the neighbours heard it through the walls. The difference is, this has gotten far, far worse instead of getting better like previously. It is a fucking nightmare. I dont understand. I dont understand how dad dealt with far worse pain for 26 years. How wasnt he crying? How did he stay so quiet about it? He was a stoic, but holy shiet. How. What im saying is that god allowed all this torment to shit on our heads at once. Im not talking about my “female problems”, but that fucking sucks too. I have two female problems at once, now. I just want to know why my family is being shit upon from above.

Thanks, god. Appreciate the break you gave us in these painfu times!

I gotta stop, mom is rushing me. Will finish later.