It was not comfy! it was not comfy at all!! Fuuuuuck!

Edit @ 6pm: I thought a futon would be softer, how the hell do broke college students sleep on these without becoming totally crippled?? I do remember a time pre-2003 accident, when I could sleep just about anywhere. Literally anywhere. Me and mom used to curl up on the floor by the sliding glass door to bask in the sun coming through. Man, those were the freaking days. It seems that a lot of people, by their late 20s/early 30s start feeling like they fell from a fourth storey window if they sleep at the wrong angle or whatever 😵‍💫 I would give anything to be an energetic, resilient teenager that could forego 72 hours of sleep and not give a shit again lol. Anything! Halp me jeebus! I need a time machine 😭

I acquired a whole new pain, probably because I rolled to my right side to give my ASS a break, and accidentally fell asleep in that position. Mom woke me up at 8 and I said something about being stuck in that position. 😅 The new pain has characteristics of gallbladder pain, in that it’s not an ache or particularly sharp. It’s in my shoulder/collarbone/neck area, not the rotator cuff. It runs down my arm and makes my thumb and index fingers hurt. Nerve, maybe? I cannot position my way out of it. It pulsates. OTC painkillers do nothing at all. It’s also the type of pain I got when I pushed myself too far in the gym one time, and hurt so bad I wanted to puke. I really hope it doesn’t become a thing. I’m getting checked out soon anyhoo.

I bought dad a “fuck cancer” shirt. Mom asked me to, I really don’t know how he feels about that. I’m getting a bracelet and maybe a shirt. No one fights alone, not in my family anyhow. FUCK CANCER!! I don’t have enough middle fingers for how I feel. I still can’t tell how he feels about it because my dad doesn’t show much emotion. He’s acting mostly normal. So am I, because I’m assuming that’s what he’d prefer. I’m glad tomorrow’s Sunday, so me and him can sit around and watch YouTube. It really is one of the highlights of my week and I try to make sure he knows that. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have that simple joy. I’m gonna shut up because I keep choking up and I fucking hate crying. Makes me feel weak and pathetic.

I decided I’m going to try to adopt a Pomsky next year. There’s a breeder in Charlotte but they are pretty picky about who they adopt to. A very young pup, weeks old, can go for $1200-1500, while a slightly older pup (several months old) might go for $500-ish. I am not sure why that is but okay lol. A pomsky is a Pomeranian husky mix. I think they look far more like a husky, but smaller. I know they inherit the typical husky dramaticness and “awooo!” A lot haha. And they shed pretty heavily at certain times of the year. Oscar usually gets along with medium-large dogs swimmingly. He doesn’t like little yippy dogs. Pomskies usually are 20-40lbs grown. I’m going to tell management 20 😬 If it gets bigger, then…whoops? lol. She’s going to be an ESA, so what are the silly “council” people gonna do? I’ve seen a number of dogs here that are way over their stupid weight limit. Thats the reason I’m putting off the golden retriever I’ve always wanted, everyone knows they weigh more than that. I gave up on the Shiba for now because I now understand that I couldn’t handle one in my current settings. They are insane! One day, though, I will have my multitude of animals. I’ll have a little house in the country where I can have my two goats, cats, dogs, whatever. One day.

I ran into a friendly acquaintance, Teresa, the other day walking her little white chihuahua. The little guy’s forehead was huge. It jutted out really far, turns out he had a bad bacterial infection in his forehead that was healing. She thought he looked like a narwhal, I said I thought it looked Beluga whale-ish. Poor thing! I wonder if she still does her knitting class or if she’ll start another one next year. I wanted to go but it was at a time in the afternoon when I was always gone. I really like Teresa, I think we could actually be good friends at some point. I don’t run into her enough but when we do, we wave excitedly, but I just don’t know how to make friends anymore. I don’t always get boundaries and I can admit that. I also don’t know if I’m even spelling her name correctly lol

Welp, I guess that’s all, I can’t believe it took an hour to write that 😬