Month: September 2025

Sep 29 2025 September 29, 2025 September 29, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I finally got some Calbee Pizza Potato Chips! They’re way too expensive, a small bag costs as much or more than a family size bag of chips! But they’re delicious 🤤 I got 4 bags, I don’t think they’ll last too long lol. Now I need to find some Canadian ketchup chips. They’re even more expensive. I found two decently sized bags for $20 on Amazon, probably the best deal I’ve ever seen on those 😬 Herr’s brand made them for a really short time and I got hooked. It’s very much a Canadian thing and maybe some states that border them. Not fair, man. Not fair.

Finally got Oscar a vet appointment but I have to see if I can make it a bit later in the day so Lauren can take me. It’s heartbreaking to see him walking flat footed and sliding around. It looks so uncomfortable and I hate that he’s probably experiencing pain. I pray they can help him.


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Sep 18 2025 September 18, 2025 September 18, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I was eating bread from Longhorn again and Oscar tried to get close to it as he usually does. I always push him away and he backs off. But no, today he resisted my push and SNATCHED a decent sized slice of bread off my plate. He then carried it to the floor and ate the whole piece while I sat there feeling a little shook. It seemed like a big “fuck you!” 😆 He has never done that before in the nine years I’ve had him. I just hope he doesn’t vom somewhere and I step in it. 😬


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Sep 17 2025 September 17, 2025 September 18, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I’ve been having odd visual hallucinations. I was at Longhorn yesterday and they have a large fake bulls head on the wall over the bar. I looked at it and its mouth started opening and closing 😳 I know it wasn’t real but….wtf? I haven’t had this type of hallucination since I lived with my parents. Back then, I was seeing creatures on my bedroom ceiling. They were invisible yet visible, kind of like the alien in the movie Predator, when he went invisible. I posted on Facebook and one friend called them “ceiling fuckers” lolll That did make feel better because some of my friends were ganging up on the ceiling fuckers and calling them names and shit. Made the experience funny instead of scary! I know the things I sometimes see are not real. I started seeing these things in early 2005 at age nineteen, after I think I might have had some kind of stroke, or something in my brain malfunctioned. I don’t know what happened but it still affects me twenty years later. I don’t know if I ever wrote about it here. I’m not gonna go there right now lol. long story.

I’ve been filling my pillbox with Lauren’s help every Wednesday. That’s something mom always did. I was scared I’d fuck up, which is fairly likely, and have negative consequences. I just started doing it when Lauren became my peer support a few weeks ago. The people at ACA are now working to make me more independent and not depend on mom so much. I’m also learning to use the washer and dryer. There’s a number of buttons which intimidated me, but you only need to use a few. I still don’t know how to sort colours properly but I’m sure we’ll get to that soon. I bought a jug of Woolite Dark because all my clothes are black haha. I had a pair of pants way back when, black skinny jeans. After a few years of washing they turned navy fucking blue! I also have an olllllld shirt that is almost faded to grey and doesn’t match my pants, which drives me bonkers. I usually wear black head to toe. Gotta match, y’know?

I did however get a Jason shirt which isn’t black, but it was so freaking cool I had to have it!

My credit is 740 now 😸 it rebounded from that big drop! I’m really proud of having good credit, makes me feel like I’ve done something 😆


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Sep 15 2025 September 15, 2025 September 16, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I’ve just noticed that Oscar is walking completely flat-footed on his back legs. I looked it up and I think he might have injured himself jumping on and off counters. Based on what I read, it’s probably a tendon/ligament injury or a fracture. This literally just started a week ago. I didn’t actually notice the flat-footed stance, but that his back feet were sliding from under him and that he was sitting funny. I noticed his feet yesterday. Would this be considered orthopaedic? If so, I need to wait a bit longer to take him to the vet so it won’t be considered a pre-existing condition. His insurance won’t cover that. I feel rotten making him wait, but if I don’t have insurance to pay for any treatment he might need, I wouldn’t be able to pay for it at all. Even if there’s a $200-something deductible I have to pay first, I imagine he would need ongoing treatment and I definitely couldn’t pay for that over and over. I think I made the right decision to insure him.

I just got back from the orthopaedic doctor. I got x-rayed and he says I have some sort of narrowing in my hip I think, memory is shite. My hips are also a bit uneven. I have to have another MRI 😭 I think I’ve mentioned before that I am very claustrophobic and have to be put completely under in order to have one. I also can’t control my breathing if I’m conscious which makes them have to do the same test several times so I’d be in there for at least twice as long as normal. I really don’t mind anaesthesia. Mom doesn’t like me to have it, but I do not have much anxiety at all about anaesthesia or surgical procedures. I’m thankful for that because I seem to have to be put under way more than the average person.

Dad is still kind of fucked up from the “special” gummy he ate, and it’s been weeks. He’s walking again, but won’t go to his doctor, nor will he go out with us. I do not know what it is about going to get help that violently  repels men. If I were feeling that way I’d be at the urgent care at the very least, because I’d rather not die over a fucking weed gummy.


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Sep 15 2025 September 15, 2025 September 16, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I love Nerds, they’re my favourite candy. I bought a box of what I thought were individual tiny boxes of them. I opened it and pullled one out but it was a packet, I thought that was a bit odd but whatever. I tore the top off and poured what I thought were going to be Nerds in my mouth and HOLy SHIT it was so incredibly sour, intense, and burnt the taste buds off my tongue! It was fucking flavour powder for water! WTF it was in the candy aisle, far away from drink flavourings. I know I should have looked at it more closely but holy hell! My tongue still hurts hours later. It was like trying to eat 20 Warheads candies at once. 😭

Moving on from me being an unobservant goof…

Mom told me that when she was checking out at the grocery store, there was a woman in the line across from her wearing a shirt that barely covered her bottom. She bent down and wasn’t wearing any sort of…well, anything 😳 No shorts, no underwear. Nothing. Everyone got to witness the hooey of some random old lady. I’m glad I wasn’t there lol, probably would have thrown up or something 😬 That’s the sort of things I have nightmares about, being exposed in public. Why would someone do that on purpose 😖


Sep 13 2025 September 13, 2025 September 16, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Today was the Free Speech festival in London, I hope it sends their traitorous government a message. I’m not sure how many showed up but I heard it was a LOT. I’m not from the UK but I’m cheering on all the free speech advocates, some of whom have already been thrown in jail for wrongspeak while criminals and rapists walk the streets. I’ve been following this very closely because I believe Europe, particularly the UK, are the canary in the coal mine. What’s happened in Europe can happen in the US if the wrong person comes into power.

Who wants to be arrested because they posted a cheeky meme on Facebook that hurt someone’s precious fee fees, or because they said something that got some fool feeling all butthurt and they decided to report you to the fucking police?? No sane individual. Who would actively want to put someone in jail for wrongthink? I can think of some people who would, actually. A lot of people. It’s unfortunate that there are lots of younger people in the US that think this way, but here we are, living in clown world 🤡


Sep 11 2025 September 11, 2025 September 16, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Ya know….of the 8 billion people on this planet, I honestly think an ungodly percentage have less than good intentions towards other humans. I can’t say I’ve lost my faith in humanity, because I NEVER HAD ANY TO START WITH. None! Zero zip zilch. I know this is very un-Christian of me, but…fuck em. I didn’t expect to suddenly start liking people after I converted. And I certainly haven’t. I don’t know if I ever will, actually.

There are a lot of soulless bastards out there. They celebrate political assassinations because people with different beliefs must be eliminated, right? They’re fascists! They don’t even know the definition of “fascist”. Basically, their philosophy is “everyone I don’t like is LITERALLY HITLER”. Fucking insane. Some are celebrating the murder of the Ukrainian woman on the Charlotte light rail, which is not that far from me. Because of her complexion. I’m fucking disturbed this happened in my state. Our shite governor barely had anything to say about it, he had to be shamed into it. Just like Helene last year, he did not care. Many also take glee on the 24th anniversary of almost 3,000 people being horribly maimed and murdered. If you’re okay with any of that, get fucking bent, and then seek professional help. In that order.

I’m done dealing with the majority of people, even the ones I used to call close friends, because some of them actually are kind of like this. I didn’t find that out until facebook came along. Seeing every fucking disgusting thought that crosses someone’s mind in the form of a status can really cause resentment. I was thinking “How the hell am I friends with this person?!” upon learning exactly how they thought of people like me. They never say it to you directly, they just say horrible shit that is obviously aimed at people with similar beliefs to mine. Once I found out how they really felt, I was done. Totally done. I abandoned that hellscape of a site about three years ago. I don’t really have social media. It did wonders for my mental health. Doomscrolling on facebook and realising a lot of your friends are very nasty people is….well, it massively fucked with my head. Made me depressed. Anxious. Afraid to speak out. It was SO unhealthy! Sometimes you just have to untether yourself from the bullshit. Cut the line. Be free.

Sometimes I’m scared to write blog posts about how I’m really feeling. I’ll post and wind up deleting it later out of sheer anxiety. People are so virulently hostile these days. It’s actually frightening. Back in the early 2000s, I used to deal with “flaming” all the damn time. If you had an online presence, it came with the territory. However, it was mostly tame stuff like “ur gay lol”, “ur art sux”, posting pics of wieners repeatedly on your tagboard (yes that happened lol) or my absolute favourite one, “your face looks like a slapped arse!”. Haha. Now, people say shit like “you deserve to die” or other threatening stuff. Things have changed so much in 25 years. People have gone totally batshit. Coo coo bonkers. You can’t have a dissenting opinion without some creep wishing death on you or threatening to doxx or whatever. IRL, they try to incite violence on people they disagree with. Seen that too many times. It’s crazy.

TL;DR: people are gross, icky creatures that desperately need to re-evaluate themselves, their morals, and their actions.


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Sep 11 2025 September 11, 2025 September 11, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Humans are the vilest of creatures. Animals don’t kill out of malice. Only us.


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Sep 09 2025 September 9, 2025 September 9, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Welp….I did all that stuff for my endoscopy yesterday for nothing. I followed their instructions about when not to eat and whatnot, I went at 7:30 in the morning, got IV’d, laid there waiting for a long time, got put under and…they couldn’t complete the damn procedure. Because there was still food in my stomach, because of my stupid diabetes meds! I have to go back in a month and have it done, but this time I can’t eat for a whole day before. 🫤 I can’t describe how much I hate that. I had to fast for a whole week before when I was going to have surgery, and it was miserable. This isn’t nearly as bad, obviously, but I still hate being hangry! I don’t think anyone likes being hangry. It sucks.

Lauren is coming tomorrow, and I think we’re supposed to be filling my pills or something, can’t remember. Yeah, I’m going to have to learn to do that myself as part of this independence thing. Thing is, I’m afraid I’ll mess up and accidentally overdose on something or get really messed up. I am not known for my attention span abilities. I get confused really easily and have difficulty with instructions. Mom wrote all this shit down for me. Pray I don’t screw it up. I hope me and Lauren can do something aside from sorting out my pills, because how fricken boring is that 😅

Dad is still really messed up, and I kind of want to (literally) smack some sense into him. He can’t WALK, he can’t eat, liver still hurts, still has a temperature, etc. Mom thinks he doesn’t want to admit he ate that “special” gummy to a doctor. It’s legal, ffs. Lots of people use edibles. When I ate that whole box of candy corn pumpkins a couple years ago and could have been in keto acidosis (even though it turned out to be a coincidental virus and insane dehydration that made me sick lol), I was extremely ashamed but I had to admit it at the ER. I felt like a moron but at least I got help! He’s just being stubborn and acting like a typical dude 😬 Something is seriously wrong here, but he’d rather possibly suffer terrible consequences than get help. I have felt pretty fucking bad before but I always at least went to an Urgent Care to be sure I wasn’t about to DIE. 🙄 If they told me I need to go to the ER, I did. I remember one time, me and dad had a terrible argument (this was probably 17 or so years ago) and right in the middle of it, he slumped to the floor and was unresponsive. I immediately called 911 and then mom. He woke up a bit after the EMTs got there. They really wanted to take him, but he simply wasn’t having it. We never found out what it was, and he had no memory of our argument.

Once, me and him had to physically force my delirious mom to go. She almost DIED. The hospital Doctor said he didn’t know how she was still alive with how low her sodium got, which was exacerbated by simultaneously having raging legionnaires pneumonia. Not exactly a common condition. She is now used as an actual case study for medical students because her situation was so damn weird.

Yeesh. *sighs*


Sep 07 2025 September 7, 2025 September 7, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Dad is SUPER sick. He can’t walk without a walker, and as far as know, he’s never used one. Had a very high fever and says his liver hurts. Me and mom tried to convince him to go to the hospital, or at least an urgent care. Nope. Right before this weird affliction, dad ate a “special” gummy and has been messed up since. I’m wondering if he got an extremely loaded one from a bad batch. He’s been eating gummies and edibles for a long time, this is not normal. The only curious part is the fever. We’re pretty sure it was the gummy, but why the high fever? I’m hoping he gets better soon because he looked absolutely miserable!

I have to be at the friggin hospital at about 7:30am tomorrow. I don’t think I’ll bother sleeping.

I had to cancel Oscar’s vet appointment tomorrow afternoon because of the insurance waiting period. I don’t know if I should wait the 14 days, or the 30 days for orthopaedic stuff. I don’t know what’s going on with him so I might have to wait the full 30.


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