I felt a lot more normal yesterday and most of today. The uncontrollable breathing started when I got home, it just fucking happens as soon as I walk in the door! I don’t get it. I’m back to normal finally. It’s so weird. I don’t know if it’s something mental or not.

Had a nice day with mom, we talked about a lot of stuff and got along really well. That makes me feel happy.

Kellie is coming tomorrow and I just don’t look forward to it. Like I said, I have a little difficulty with really religious people because I feel like I have to tiptoe around them so I won’t offend, and I can’t be myself. I can’t really talk to her normally, and we don’t have anything in common so what is there to talk about? The people at ACA (A Caring Alternative) know how I am so I’m not sure why they assigned her to my case. I do not think they gave it much thought, like when they separated me and Denise. Why was I the one they picked to reassign? It was literally JUST ME. No one else. They knew we were close. I think they do this shit to be mean, honestly. They did this because they wanted her to spend more time with some other client. It didn’t make sense. They know I’m autistic, but do they know anything about autism at all? Change is very distressing and disruptive. I don’t think they know much about the mental illnesses their other clients have either. You’d think that would be required learning. How do you interact with mentally ill, mr/mmr and autistic people if you don’t know that much about them? How are you even able to do your job correctly? I know the woman at the very top of the peer/individual support stuff, she actually was my peer support circa 2011 or thereabouts. Don’t know how she got as far up the ladder as she did. She makes some stupid decisions and I do not believe she gives them much consideration. I don’t think she knows anything about the people she’s making decisions about! I was told that some of the people at the top are new-ish and they’re not all that nice. I was told they “aren’t the same company that hired me”. Kind of depressing. I’ve been with ACA on and off since 2007. I’d hate to see them change in a bad way.