I can’t breathe. I think eating might have triggered it. I took an extra Ativan and am praying it helps. It makes me sweat and I can’t fucking stand it! It’s 80 and humid outside and I just can’t. The snot isn’t helping either.
Speaking of snot, I did get my allergy drops today. It’s made of bright eye and stinging nettles or something. It has great reviews, but everyone says it tastes like assholes. 🙁 I guess I’ll have to choke it down if I want some relief. My allergy medicine isn’t working anymore so I had to try something different.
I know for sure the allergen spray I got works, because I forgot to spray it in my bedroom last night and had a bit of trouble with my eyes being itchy and watery. Not as bad as it was before the spray, but still.
I’ve been listening to a playlist of newer goth music on Spotify and much to my surprise, I really like a lot of it. Some of the music on it is what I would call synth pop but I like that too. I had been pretty much listening to the same bands for 25 years because I’m stuck in the 80s, 90s and early 2000s when it comes to goth, and other music in general. I don’t really listen to music made in the last 15 years because….remember that episode of South Park when it’s Stan’s birthday and suddenly every song he listened to sounded like shitting noises? That’s me. I swear to god there’s a South Park episode for every damn situation 😂. But really, most top 40 music sounds likes shit noises to me. I fucking hate rap/hip hop in the state it’s in. Actual shit. Used to be good stuff. Now that I’m thinking about it, I now have “Regulate” by Nate Dogg and Warren G stuck in my head. 😆 Good shit. What the hell happened to popular music? How did we start out with guys like Grandmaster Flash and end up with garbage ass mumble rap or whatever? I could rant about that for hours, but I won’t.
I remember one time I was walking in town with mom and I suddenly couldn’t go any further because I totally overheated, so she had to walk back and get the car. We stopped at this auto repair and detailing place and she asked them if I could sit there until she got back with the car. I sat there while these guys were cleaning someone’s car and they would put their own music in the cd player and listen to it really loud as they work. When I say that rap was gross as hell, I’m not exaggerating. I was turning red. I was the lone female around a bunch of guys and the music was like “Ima fuck that pussy” and much worse stuff I can’t remember. I’m not a prude, okay? I have listened to some truly vulgar metal in my day but this shit surpassed it all. I just scrunched up my face and sat there feeling embarrassed for some reason. I’ll admit there are some older rap songs with questionable lyrics that I like (that one Missy Elliott song, iykyk) but god damn! Guess it’s not as disgusting when females sing about it? O_o eh
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and I’m gonna ask her to put me back on the 100mg provigil prescription. I am sleeping way too much in the late afternoons. It’s fucking me up.
I haven’t caught whatever virus mom has…yet. I’m surprised. My immune system sucks.
My breathing has calmed since I started writing this, let’s hope it stays that way. Reckon I just needed something to concentrate on.