I’m going to ask for a sewing machine for Christmas. I want to learn to sew and alter. I want to make some gothy pieces I can wear myself and sell on Etsy.

I feel bad, especially when I’m alone. Right now I’m having thoughts of self harm. I don’t understand this and never will, probably. I don’t understand why people’s minds just turn on them. Why does the mind torment itself? I know it’s a chemical imbalance thing but still…

I emailed the weight loss center one last time, asking if there is anything I can do to change their collective minds, and that I’d do anything they asked. I hope something good comes of it. Probably not but it’s my last hope.