Rabbit in the Moon

Ffs!!

My mother is a rude and often ignorant person. If she gets angry and we’re in the car, she absolutely guns it and goes well over the speed limit, putting the two of us as well as others in danger. I tell her to stop, and she will say something like “I will speed if I wish”. All because I called her while she was in the store and she picks up and says “WHAT.” In the rudest way possible. I ask her why she spoke to me that way because it really bothers me, and she actually had the balls to deny it O_o like…you literally just…never mind. /sigh

I do not know how to interact with this stranger anymore. We were having a relatively nice day until that happened. We went and got my bloodwork done (8 vials ugh) and then to a thrift store where I got three shirts. Then to McDonalds because I was absolutely starving. I had emailed her last night because I wanted to make sure we could pick up some nails because I was motivated to hang some pictures and this just made her mad or whatever. She apparently did not want to go get nails, so she starts acting like that.

Being around her is about as fun as explosive diarrhea these days. I mean, sometimes we do get along fine, but other times…

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m terrified Medicare will suddenly stop paying for my peer support services at A Caring Alternative and I won’t have my peer and individual support people anymore to take me out to do stuff and also help me with other things mom can’t or won’t do. I’ll be stuck with JUST HER again. Which was one reason I wound up in the hospital….total isolation. That was my life. No one but my parents. They were the only people I was really around and I was so closed off from the rest of the world….if that happens again…I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t think ACA knows just how much I need them and what’s at stake.