Tag: wls

Aug 29 2024 August 29, 2024 August 29, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Wow, both my parents are trying to convince me not to have surgery. Mom is just depressing. I didn’t enjoy being around her today. ☹️ They are actually making me scared. Oh well. I’m doing it. Not gonna be this way anymore.

I got a number of things done with my doctor this afternoon. She ordered the GeneSight test, swabbed my cheeks and stuff. She sent a referral to the pulmonary place to talk about prescribing me Provigil to treat the tiredness and stuff that comes with obstructive sleep apnea. It also helps improve cognitive function (great because I have brain fog) and helps with motivation to do things. I’ve heard great things about it. I see a shift in my medications on the horizon. That’s a good thing. Like I’ve said, my current meds have given me moderate stability and that’s not good enough anymore. I want to actually feel good. Alive. Motivated.

I’ve been successfully drinking 64oz of water everyday for the past week. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Even so, I’m tireder than I’ve ever been. Nodding off all the time. Having to have a long sleep not three hours after waking up….gah. That’s gotta stop. That’s why I want the Provigil!


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Aug 27 2024 August 27, 2024 August 27, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I’m set to have surgery September 5th. I have to see the psychiatrist and do the liquid diet again, no big deal. I’ll not chicken out this time. I’m just grateful they gave me a second chance! Mom isn’t too happy about it though. Of course 😆

Apparently I’m 19lb away from not being considered obese. That’s what mom says anyhow.

Of course Kim switched to Friday. But who knows if she’ll come or not. 

Watching: Star Trek TNG


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Aug 26 2024 August 26, 2024 August 26, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Feeling a little better today. The weight loss center got back to me and said they’d pass the info along to Dr Hata, and it’s his decision if he will reschedule my surgery. I at least have a chance, I’m just worried about the insurance crap.

Anyone else ever injure themselves peeling an orange? Anyone? Just me? Okay. There was blood, my thumb still hurts.

My peer support Kim is supposed to come Thursday. Who knows if she actually will. Denise (other peer support, my favorite) can’t come this week 🙁  Bah.


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Aug 23 2024 August 23, 2024 August 23, 2024 NoComment by Eden

Good lord.

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Ughhhhh

I just wrote a long email to mom about how I made a mistake canceling my surgery, and I know she’s going to think I’m a crazy flip flopping idiot but yeah. I want to reschedule it. I apologized like 50 times. I know I put stress on her because she’s naturally high strung and I don’t want to do that. She’s 74 and I do not want to give her a heart attack or something. I do depend on her for a lot of things though. I feel bad because she should be enjoying her golden years but instead she has money problems and…me that she often has to care for.

Anyhow I’m gonna try to make the second time around less stressful for her.

I hope they’ll let me reschedule it. I think they will because plenty of people on the weight loss surgery subreddit have done the same thing and chickened out last minute.

I still feel like a dumb fuck though. =_=


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Aug 22 2024 August 22, 2024 August 22, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Welp. I had a crisis at 5am and called mom. I cancelled the surgery. I did not go through with it. I guess I realized there are other options to lose weight and I don’t have to do something so drastic that will permanently change my body and life forever. I realized I wasn’t sure if I could follow through on that commitment, and those doubts alone were reason enough to not do it.

I’m looking into other types of diets and exercise. I’m looking at keto. I don’t know much about it but it seems like a lot of people are doing it. One thing I’m tired of is yoyo-ing, losing and gaining the same ten pounds over and over. I weigh 211.5 lb right now, it should not be too hard to get under 200. Realize that I used to be over 280. I’ve already lost a lot of weight. Everyone has been saying “you’ve lost so much weight, you look great!” And it’s reassuring. However, my weight seems to want to settle around 240-250 so I gotta be careful. I will start back on Ozempic again, since I had to stop it and cosentyx about a month before surgery. I’ll probably have to start from scratch again and increase the dosage little by little. It really did help though.

Another thing is hydration. I’ve been drinking a lot of water and electrolyte drinks and I do feel different and have noticed a big difference in my skin. Things heal better when you’re adequately hydrated I guess. I have a lot of scratches and bites from my abusive cat lol. The wounds stuck around for a long time when I was dehydrated, but once I started drinking more, they faded away. I have one of those big ass 64oz water bottles that have encouraging stuff written on them, haven’t used it yet but I’m going to.

I can feel my life going in a better direction already, that is being able to enjoy the foods I love in moderation and incorporating other healthier stuff and habits.

The first thing I did today when I went out was to go eat Chinese. Not the healthiest, but I hadn’t eaten solid food in over a week. I was about to crack 😂


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Aug 21 2024 August 21, 2024 August 21, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Less than a day before surgery.

I had to clean my whole body with these wipes provided by the hospital, and it made me itch. I have to do it again tomorrow. Blah.

I had been having second thoughts. I wondered if I could really give up eating certain foods, like rice. I love rice. I’m sure I’ll be able to sneak it in at some point lol. The reason is that these foods have no real nutritional value or something. I was waffling on my decision. Then, I thought, do I want to stay this way forever? No, no I don’t. I see this as my only way forward tbh. I have to do it.

 


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Aug 19 2024 August 19, 2024 August 19, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Went to hobby lobby and got a little pack of Derwent colored pencils. I believe Derwents are oil based instead of wax, I could be wrong though. I’m going to find out for sure, test them out, and consider investing in a large set of Derwent pencils after my Prismacolors are used up. If there’s a huge difference, anyhow. Oil goes down smoother than wax. We shall see.

Otherwise, I’ve been kinda crabby because being hungry is annoying. The protein shakes fill me up for a while but it doesn’t last that long and my stomach starts growling. It just sucks. This liquid diet sucks. I hate it. So much. I just want this whole ordeal to be over asap.

3 days until surgery. Hurry up.


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Aug 15 2024 August 15, 2024 August 16, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Oh my lort…today was loooong. So much shit to do, but I got it done. My ass was very sore from all the sitting I did. I honestly thought it would never end lol. I just got home 30 minutes ago. 7:45am to 5pm. Phew! I think the classes were the worst part…they just never seemed to end. My eyeballs and neck hurt from all the staring. No, my eyeballs literally hurt. Ever since the first cataract surgery, I feel like my eyes are crossing or something. It’s really weird.

7 days until surgery. I can’t wait.

edit: I need adhd medication because this is getting ridiculous. I cannot focus on anything and I’m really antsy. I really don’t want to add another medication but I can’t be like this forever 😭


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Aug 14 2024 August 14, 2024 August 14, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Ugghhh tomorrow is pre-op….I have to get up at the crack of dawn and be there before 7:45am. I’ll be there allll day, a lot of it is sitting in a class for hours. I’m so scared I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I’m gonna try in about an hour. If it wasn’t for the sleep thing, I actually wouldn’t mind it so much. I just hate being so tired I can’t keep my eyes open. That’s been happening a LOT lately. More so than usual. I’m nervous about it. Also my doctor took me off glucophage and my blood pressure meds, so my sugar is sky high and so is my blood pressure. I think it’s been making me feel weird. My heart is racing and I’ve been getting super hot at night. It’s kind of miserable.

Let’s hope I can sleep a bit and don’t pass out in my freaking class tomorrow. Fingers crossed 🤞


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Aug 13 2024 August 13, 2024 August 13, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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God I am such an idiot. I accidentally used my credit card to buy $100 in groceries. I have an EBT card for that! In my defense, mom dragged me into the store when I was absolutely exhausted. Easy to make a dumb mistake when you’re that tired. /sigh

Liquid diet day 2: this sucks, I’m hungry. Wish the 22nd would hurry up and come.


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