Tag: oscar

Oct 12 2025 October 12, 2025 October 12, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I closed my capital one card, my first and only (so far) credit card. I am scared of how this will affect my credit score. I just couldn’t deal with the never ending cycle of trying to pay it off and never being able to just DO it because I don’t have enough to cover the whole balance every month when all it does is pay one bill and accrue more fucking interest. Now I have to pay $25 into it for six more fucking months to pay it off once and for all. I’m going to get another one after asking more questions so I get the least crappy one I can. I do question if I actually need one. Would not having a cc affect my score negatively? If not, I don’t know if I want to get another one. I need to talk to someone who knows about this. I might ask the people at Telco (my bank) when I go to apply for my first loan ever Tuesday. I’m applying for $1624. I might add $100 to that to help me this month. I want to pay off all the Klarna and Affirm payments, and the $200 I owe mom for the vet payment snafu. I’m hoping consolidating my debts will give me a significantly lower monthly payment than I’m having to pay now. I’m just hoping my credit will show that I am trustworthy and will pay it off diligently. There are many things I don’t understand and I may be wrong in what I’m saying about pretty much everything I’ve said in this post lol. I’m gonna get clarification when I go and apply.

Oscar is already doing better after only three shots. He’s urinating less and it doesn’t smell as gnarly. I hope he’s feeling better since this started. I worry about him, like a lot. Cats and dogs are just kids that live on the floor 😁

I have an appointment with the gastroenterologist tomorrow morning. Since they couldn’t complete the procedure last time, I have to start over completely. I hope I don’t have to wait months like the first time, not being able to properly swallow half the time is a real pain in the ass!! It’s also uncomfortable and makes it difficult to concentrate on stuff or get to sleep. It’s pretty disruptive and has plagued me for years, but it finally got so bad that I’d had enough. I was told about how it could be stretched out to solve the problem, even if it has to be done again every year or two. I really wish I’d known that before I suffered for so long 😅


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Oct 11 2025 October 11, 2025 October 12, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I just fed Oscar some pâté and gave him one unit of insulin from his own lantus pen. He didn’t seem to notice when I stuck him, which is great! Too busy munching to care I guess. I checked to see what one unit looks like and it is barely noticeable, it was a teeny weeny little orb of liquid on the end of the needle. I am left wondering how that little drop could help! Maybe I don’t understand that well since I myself am on 45 units twice a day 😅 Thank God for that freaking insurance because he’s going to have a lot of vet visits. I kind of knew this would happen! *pats self on back* I made a good decision on my own, without anyone suggesting it or telling me how to do anything! I don’t think I’ve really done that before, especially with something like insurance. I know that’s kind of unbelievable, but remember the autism and other cognitive stuff. I never had to make any decisions of that type. No one ever thought I’d be able to live alone either, but here I am, being an adult…sort of 😸 lol

He’s being a lap cat at the moment, probably because he’s happy he got wet food twice today. He’s not getting dry food anymore. I don’t think he likes the “stink cereal” anyways. I don’t know if treats are allowed either, but there were a couple good questions including that, that I forgot to ask. I wanted to know if he would walk normally again once his diabetes gets under control, if that’s what’s causing it anyhow. He’s going back to get his sugar tested next week, so I’ll ask then.

And on an entirely different topic…

I was having a conversation with mom about old horror movies. Mom would go to her grandmas house to watch the block of Hammer Horror movies that were on one of the three existing channels, because they didn’t have a TV set yet. That made me think of one channel I watched that also had a block of time for horror movies once a week. I was trying to find what it was called in the late 2000s/early 2010s. Keep in mind this was circa 1989. It had a particular ad promoting it that I remember pretty well, it was a bathtub full of blood and a hand covered in blood (duh) reaches out of it. It always scared me but I loved it because I was a baby horror hound thanks to dad 😬 I was trying so hard to remember the channel. TBS popped in my head but I don’t know. I tried this one site that was just for that, finding things people remembered from childhood but just couldn’t remember what exactly it was called or whatever. I was not able to find anything. I wonder if that site is still around, since there’s now a subreddit for the exact same thing. I’m not posting on Reddit because it’s a toxic shitshow 😅 ugh. I’m trying to find the image of the bloody bathtub hand. It would be a lot easier if I knew the name of the fucking thing! Idk, this is something that’s been annoying me for a couple decades. Don’t know why! Maybe because it’s something  that’s stuck with me for 35-36 freaking years! I was able to find the block of cartoons (and my first anime! Ronin Warriors!) I used to watch circa 1992-ish, the name of it, when it was on, the channel and all that. But I have not been able to find this! I look for these things out of nostalgia. Nostalgia is a strong emotion, as I’m sure you know. It’s also one of the nicest feelings imo. I love being able to put a name on the mysterious things I used to watch that I couldn’t identify before. I still have a few things I haven’t found, namely movies I saw that I only remember little parts of, and would love to watch them again. I know I’ll have a wicked dopamine rush when I finally figure them out! 😸

Yes, I’m stuck in the past which is fine with me, because the present sucks 😂

EDIT: I despise AI art. It’s soulless. I would much rather buy art made by humans, that you can SEE it’s made by an actual person! I was looking at prints on Etsy and people were using AI. I felt so disappointed. I don’t want AI slop on my wall. Sometimes I can live with it, like with my “Screaming Possums” calendar I got on Temu. Of course the pictures were gonna be AI, I expected that. But selling prints of “art” made with AI, SIGNED prints mind you, is just freakin diabolical. Don’t piss up my leg and tell me it’s raining. 🙄

Another thing is…I don’t think I’m a Christian anymore. I’ve felt like this for a couple of days now. I’m simply not made for it, never was. And the old gods were calling me back…

🪄🗡️🏰🌞🪺🍄🐉🐦‍⬛🐕‍🦺🐇🐃🧚🏼‍♀️🧝🏻‍♀️ (look at me acting like a bored boomer. I was finding related emojis lol)


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Oct 10 2025 October 10, 2025 October 10, 2025 NoComment by Eden

Rough day

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I’ve definitely had a rough day. I’ve been in crazy pain for three days now. It’s not an intense stabbing pain, but it’s pervasive all over my body. Literally everywhere. It feels like nerve pain with a side of chronic neck pain, something which has also been worse lately. I have been doing really intense stretches and crunching and while it does help for a while, the pain comes back after a few hours. I have taken four Aleve today, 12 hours apart. The “exercises” I’ve been doing are so harsh I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if I broke or tore something. I do think I’ve broken a toe, but that was quite a while back. I’m miserable 😞 It’s affecting my insides as well.

Oscar had a 2.5 hour vet appointment today. I got him an exam, urine thingy and a senior cat blood panel which is really extensive, which is the reason I was there in the first place. I found out from the pee test that he has diabetes, which didn’t surprise me, I fully expected it. His blood sugar was over 400 which scared me. Sometime in 2008, I told dad I felt awful and he suggested checking my sugar. He used his kit and my sugar was well over 300. That’s how I found out. Knowing he was most likely feeling really bad for months made me so sad. I’m feeling guilty for not taking him way earlier, but I didn’t have the money for everything he needed, and that’s one big reason I got him insurance. I knew whatever was wrong was going to be chronic and require lots of vet visits, and I wanted to be certain I could cover the costs of whatever he needed. I reached my $250 deductible today by a LOT (there was a major snafu with the payment….ugh.) so I’ll be filing a claim to get  $150 back.

As for the payment snafu, I think it’s time to close my Capital One card. The interest is so freaking high and with my credit, I can definitely get a much better one. I am afraid the hit my credit would take from closing a card. I don’t know why that happens, but it’s fucking idiotic. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much. I might take out a small loan from my bank to pay mom back because she wound up taking most of the hit because of an honest but really dumb mistake I made. She now doesn’t have enough money to make it through the month and I feel terrible. That was my first credit card and there were things I still didn’t understand about them. Turns out all the money I paid into it every month was eaten up by interest. I was looking at the wrong fuckin number, basically. It’s labelled “balance” which I did not really understand. I thought I had roughly $150 on it when I actually had $54! My flabbers were gasted. I am going to be so paranoid about cc’s now…

And lastly, I do feel a lot better about Oscar’s health. I was so afraid they’d tell me I should have him put to sleep. I’m still afraid because I don’t know the results of his blood tests. I was extremely concerned about his weight loss, because it could have been related to cancer, but it was actually diabetes. He weighs 11lb now. Vet wants him at 9lb. I will be giving him his own Lantus pen and giving him one unit in the morning and one unit at night. That’s great because one vial of insulin costs a little over $100. I always have excess Lantus anyways.

That last bit was supposed to be short but whatever lol. Now I gotta take a nap. I’m old and busted.

Wait, I forgot to say I bought Silent Hill f on steam even though I didn’t really have the money 😬 Reading some comments on the tfl.org forums, it looks like I’m in for some shit. I am not good at puzzles. I ALWAYS cheat lol. Someone said you can’t really find anything to help with what sounds like a monster of a puzzle. The puzzles in other SH games were hard as hell, but this sounds like it’s worse. Oh lawd. I’m afraid to start it haha


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Oct 08 2025 October 8, 2025 October 8, 2025 NoComment by Eden

Ahhhhh

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Omg Lauren took me to a CAT CAFE. I have never been to one, nor did I even know it was there! It’s been there for at least a couple of years, and I have been unaware of its existence. I’ve been missing out. Then again, it’s somewhere in Downtown Lenoir and I rarely go there since Dead People’s Stuff moved somewhere else. This was a side of town I’ve never been to. I should go and explore more.

Anyhow. I got myself a honeydew boba tea, really tasty, exactly like my favourite can boba I buy at the Hmong shop. We drank our boba for a little while until the cat room opened. It opens on the hour every hour, and you get to spend a whole hour with the cats. Sadly the cats just were not particularly interested in me. It could have been my deodorant? I generally get cats all over me when I volunteer to “socialise” them at Friends For Animals, not this time I guess. Lol. They are all adoptable and I seriously thought about snatching up this one little guy (or girl lol idk) named “dryer lint” 😆 He looked like a DUST BUNNY. A literal pile of gray lint. I’m not sure of the breed, but the fur was different from any cat I’ve seen. It was medium length but had a lot of long hairs too. I said it looked like a werewolf if werewolves were made of dust balls. That makes no sense 😂 I guess I should have taken a picture. There was also a black kitten I was eyeing because I have always wanted a black cat. They were both so TINY, Dryer Lint had feet too big for his little body. That’s when kittens and puppies reach peak cuteness, the oversized feet phase. I don’t know why that is so adorable, but it is. Dang…I wonder if either of them will be there next month. I don’t know, I really wanted a golden retriever though. We are allowed two emotional support animals. The weight limit is 20lb but Oscar himself almost crossed that at one time. Other people have dogs that are very obviously heavier than 20lb. I hate trying to make decisions like that!

Do I want to introduce Oscar to another cat? Last time I tried to introduce a kitten (a stray that followed me home…Kommandar Fuzzar was her name…) to my sweet, sweet Mister Hideki, he howled and ran down the basement stairs….shitting the whole way down. 😅 We wound up giving her to a woman whose husband recently passed. I hope she had a great life, even though she was almost certainly given a MUCH lamer name….so that experience gives me pause. I have no clue how Oscar would react to another cat. I know he’d be fine with a dog, he loved dad’s dog Lucy, and I felt bad about separating them when I moved out. It’s been six years and I fear I’ve kept him lonely all this time. I know he’d would benefit from having a buddy to hang out with.

Jeez, I guess I’m hashing this out in a post…started with one opinion and went straight into another. My thought process is so disorganised 😬

I think I’m going to try to get a golden retriever approved when I’m able to find one. I don’t know if they are even allowed to say no to a registered emotional support animal. I think there’s some law about that, even though they have a silly weight limit. Like I said, there are other dogs here that are significantly bigger. 🤷‍♀️ I wonder if the property manager would help me weasel my way out of the weight thing. I am totally okay with being a sneaky snake. Hehe.

On a different note, my fingernails have once again grown too long to easily use this godforsaken iPhone keyboard. I don’t understand how you people with two inch acrylic talons are able to do literally anything. I also want to know how y’all wipe. I can’t imagine it. I even looked it up on Reddit and didn’t get any concrete answers. I just wanna KNOW. It’s one of those things that’s bothered me since I saw that lady with the world’s longest fingernails on TV. That was the first thing that popped in my mind. Because of course 🥴

Now that I have TMI’d any unfortunate souls that read that last bit….I must go. ✌️


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Oct 06 2025 October 6, 2025 October 6, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Oh shit, Oscar has the runs! Nooooo! I don’t think he’s ever had the shits before. So why all of a sudden? He’s been eating and drinking the same stuff…everything feels “tainted” because I know it was all over his feet, and aside from his litter box rug and a big shit smear in the kitchen, God only knows where he’s tracked it. I feel like I’m surrounded by poo. He’s done it only once since last night. Also he’s walking in such a pitiful manner it broke my freaking heart. It looks so uncomfortable and I know it must be hurting his back. That vet appointment can’t come soon enough! Friday at 2:30pm, hurry up. Please. I am terrified they’re gonna try to convince me to have him put to sleep or something, though. That almost makes me NOT want to go, but I absolutely have to. His insurance will cover it now so I don’t have to worry about that. I still have to send them his medical records, which I guess I’ll do right now…

I have prepared myself for a Diabetes diagnosis. I think that’s what it is. Excessive drinking, excessive urinating…it just sounds like it. Mister Hideki had it, he was also a big boy. Oscar has lost weight, and I question that as well. I do think it’s the beetus, but I’m scared it could also be something bad primarily because of the weight loss. I pray for him every night. Losing him would emotionally obliterate me. I’m getting ahead of myself again. It could be something way less awful! I wish my brain would stfu and stop scaring me 🫩

Edit: I sent them his records. I did it on my phone so I got a little confused. I hate messing with the files folder, it annoys me. Vet sent me two files and I looked at the .pdf files and they both looked the same…eh, I sent both.  Hope I did it right.


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Sep 29 2025 September 29, 2025 September 29, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I finally got some Calbee Pizza Potato Chips! They’re way too expensive, a small bag costs as much or more than a family size bag of chips! But they’re delicious 🤤 I got 4 bags, I don’t think they’ll last too long lol. Now I need to find some Canadian ketchup chips. They’re even more expensive. I found two decently sized bags for $20 on Amazon, probably the best deal I’ve ever seen on those 😬 Herr’s brand made them for a really short time and I got hooked. It’s very much a Canadian thing and maybe some states that border them. Not fair, man. Not fair.

Finally got Oscar a vet appointment but I have to see if I can make it a bit later in the day so Lauren can take me. It’s heartbreaking to see him walking flat footed and sliding around. It looks so uncomfortable and I hate that he’s probably experiencing pain. I pray they can help him.


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Sep 18 2025 September 18, 2025 September 18, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I was eating bread from Longhorn again and Oscar tried to get close to it as he usually does. I always push him away and he backs off. But no, today he resisted my push and SNATCHED a decent sized slice of bread off my plate. He then carried it to the floor and ate the whole piece while I sat there feeling a little shook. It seemed like a big “fuck you!” 😆 He has never done that before in the nine years I’ve had him. I just hope he doesn’t vom somewhere and I step in it. 😬


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Sep 15 2025 September 15, 2025 September 16, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I’ve just noticed that Oscar is walking completely flat-footed on his back legs. I looked it up and I think he might have injured himself jumping on and off counters. Based on what I read, it’s probably a tendon/ligament injury or a fracture. This literally just started a week ago. I didn’t actually notice the flat-footed stance, but that his back feet were sliding from under him and that he was sitting funny. I noticed his feet yesterday. Would this be considered orthopaedic? If so, I need to wait a bit longer to take him to the vet so it won’t be considered a pre-existing condition. His insurance won’t cover that. I feel rotten making him wait, but if I don’t have insurance to pay for any treatment he might need, I wouldn’t be able to pay for it at all. Even if there’s a $200-something deductible I have to pay first, I imagine he would need ongoing treatment and I definitely couldn’t pay for that over and over. I think I made the right decision to insure him.

I just got back from the orthopaedic doctor. I got x-rayed and he says I have some sort of narrowing in my hip I think, memory is shite. My hips are also a bit uneven. I have to have another MRI 😭 I think I’ve mentioned before that I am very claustrophobic and have to be put completely under in order to have one. I also can’t control my breathing if I’m conscious which makes them have to do the same test several times so I’d be in there for at least twice as long as normal. I really don’t mind anaesthesia. Mom doesn’t like me to have it, but I do not have much anxiety at all about anaesthesia or surgical procedures. I’m thankful for that because I seem to have to be put under way more than the average person.

Dad is still kind of fucked up from the “special” gummy he ate, and it’s been weeks. He’s walking again, but won’t go to his doctor, nor will he go out with us. I do not know what it is about going to get help that violently  repels men. If I were feeling that way I’d be at the urgent care at the very least, because I’d rather not die over a fucking weed gummy.


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Sep 07 2025 September 7, 2025 September 7, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Dad is SUPER sick. He can’t walk without a walker, and as far as know, he’s never used one. Had a very high fever and says his liver hurts. Me and mom tried to convince him to go to the hospital, or at least an urgent care. Nope. Right before this weird affliction, dad ate a “special” gummy and has been messed up since. I’m wondering if he got an extremely loaded one from a bad batch. He’s been eating gummies and edibles for a long time, this is not normal. The only curious part is the fever. We’re pretty sure it was the gummy, but why the high fever? I’m hoping he gets better soon because he looked absolutely miserable!

I have to be at the friggin hospital at about 7:30am tomorrow. I don’t think I’ll bother sleeping.

I had to cancel Oscar’s vet appointment tomorrow afternoon because of the insurance waiting period. I don’t know if I should wait the 14 days, or the 30 days for orthopaedic stuff. I don’t know what’s going on with him so I might have to wait the full 30.


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Sep 05 2025 September 5, 2025 September 5, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I love my new peer support Lauren! They really matched us well. She’s helping me learn to be more independent, like using a washer and dryer. I’m really apprehensive about those because the buttons and stuff look like (to my autistic brain lol) an airplane dash! I’m afraid I’ll ruin my clothes because I don’t really understand how to sort lights from darks correctly. She gave me a basic rundown on the buttons and I feel better about it. Turns out you don’t really have to use the majority of them. I’ll be doing my own laundry soon enough. I also got a big desk calendar and have written all my appointments on it. Actually, I forgot one. Just remembered 😆

I asked if she’d help me make Oscar a vet appointment for a leg exam and bloodwork. It is not as much as I thought, like $100 less. Lauren’s taking me to that one…it’s on the same day as my endoscopy but I do well with anaesthesia so I’ll be fine to go later in the day. I just want to know what’s going on with him so I can HELP him! I’m thinking it’s hip problems, personally. Then again he did lose five pounds for no apparent reason and I think that worries me the most.

edit: Oscar is now insured. I might have to cancel the vet appointment until the waiting period is over so it won’t be considered a pre-existing condition. I tried to add his primary vet information but the AI bot I was speaking with glitched and wouldn’t let me. I have to get his medical records myself and email them. I went with lemonade pet insurance, it’s 50-something every month. Kind of expensive but I think it will be needed in the future, unfortunately. I love him so much and just want him to be okay and get the best care for him!

edit #2: just got home from dinner and noticed Oscar walking with a noticeable limp in one leg. It must not be too bad, because he hopped up on the chair when I sat down. Has he hurt his leg somehow? 🫤


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