Tag: Killstar

Mar 03 2025 March 3, 2025 March 3, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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My new pants broke. They’re bondage pants so they have straps and zippers and whatnot. The strap behind my legs is kind of short, it hinders me getting into cars and things that involve moving my legs too far apart. I am careful to not yank or stretch that strap. I got in mom’s car to go home tonight and felt something snap. I wanted to email KILLSTAR about it but they’ve made it difficult. I’m signed into the app so you think I’d be able to get the order number, right? Nope. I can’t find the receipt email either. I doubt they’ll help me without it. If all else fails I’ll take it to my seamstress. *sigh*

The stuff with the fanlistings is resolved so that’s one less thing to stress over.


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Feb 15 2025 February 15, 2025 February 15, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I finally felt like trying on my clothes from KILLSTAR and they’re lovely! The pants sort of remind me of bondage pants and they’re made of an odd stretchy polyester sort of material which isn’t my favourite, but it doesn’t bother me much. Thankfully they are high waisted enough. The duster is beautiful. It’s got crushed velvet bits and beautiful bell sleeves. I felt magical when I put it on. It does touch the floor quite a bit, I suppose I’ll wear platforms with it. I don’t want to get it hemmed, that’d just ruin it. I need to take a better look at it tomorrow, the lighting in there absolutely sucks at night.

I went out with Karen today (well technically yesterday) and she tried talking politics again. I said “Let’s not talk politics.” She said one more sentence of it then stopped, thankfully. This is why I never impose my beliefs on anyone else. It’s draining.

Me and the parents ate at Pizza Hut. It was unusually full in there. There’s hardly ever more than a few people there when we go. I could tell the waitress was struggling. I got my pepperoni lovers melts and all was good in the world.


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Feb 12 2025 February 12, 2025 February 12, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I was stressed today, so mom took me to the BBQ place and we ate river chips 😀 That usually makes me feel better. Had to take an extra Ativan anyways! I was hot and shaky and my pulse was racing. Don’t know what that was about.

I got my package from KILLSTAR today, I remember one thing that’s in it but forgot the other! Brilliant! I have yet to open it and try stuff on. I didn’t feel like it I guess. I’m really afraid the pants won’t be high waisted enough. That’s the only kind of pants I’ll wear because I’ll be DAMNED if my fat hangs over the top of my pants. Absolutely not. Gotta tuck it in. That’s also why I invested in a (shitty, I need a different one) belt.

I also got the last Temu package I ordered at the beginning of the month. I got two belts in that one as well as the “memento mori” sticker I’ve been waiting for. It’s going on my new phone case, which seems to have disappeared. Damnit. Still waiting for that replacement pop socket too. It hasn’t shipped or anything. I understand that it’s handmade but it feels like I ordered it a while ago.

http://endymion.nu is up and running! As you can see, it’s pretty ugly at the moment and has no layout. I did too much tonight and didn’t feel like making one. I uploaded all the fanlistings, installed enthusiast (all by myself!! Yay), added them all into enth, edited the config files for each one to reflect the changes and sent in thirty six moved forms. So yeah, was kind of burnt out after that. I’m going to attempt a decent one myself, but if that doesn’t go well I’m considering asking a friend if I could commission one from her. I don’t know if she takes commissions or not. One of her recent BSSM fl layouts enamoured me for some reason. Very simple and elegant. That’s what I’m going for. I wish my coding was better. I’ve been making websites for 25 years and never really learned how to code WELL. By that, I mean it’s messy and I never use headers, footers or most importantly, stylesheets. All because I’m lazy and just slap it in there. Also, stylesheets tend to confuse me just a little bit. I understand perfectly how they work, I’m just not good at making them.

I think my host is definitely mad at me; she hasn’t answered any of my emails. That really upsets me. I understand that I can be annoying but….damn. I still have to move windsprite to leprd.space. That’s where I have most of my sites hosted. It’s kind of funny, I almost never have to bother that host. Probably because I have almost complete control over my own stuff via cPanel.

Listening to: This Ascension – Mysterium


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Jan 15 2025 January 15, 2025 January 15, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I finally sent in a work order in my ActiveBuilding app, the one I use to pay my rent and whatnot. I asked if the light in between mine and my neighbours doors could be fixed because it’s not bright enough at night, unlike in the other buildings. It actually goes off when I get to the top of the stairs, leaving me in the dark which is creepy and annoying. It’s also uncomfortable going up and down those stairs in inadequate lighting, which is something I do frequently. I don’t think my neighbour goes out at night often but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if it’s fixed lol

I got my KILLSTAR package! I haven’t opened it to try stuff on yet, I will do that later tonight. I also got the ‘Some Wear Leather, Some Wear Lace’ book, which I’ve been looking at since it came out many years ago, but it was expensive and I didn’t have money back then. It’s yet another thing I should not have bought but I’m super happy to have it and excited to look at the photos in it. It’s a photo book of 80’s goth culture and fashion. There’s also one specifically chronicling deathrock fashion which I plan to get at some point. I’d never seen that one before but it looks super cool. That’s kind of how I used to dress in the mid-2000s. I was more subdued but had my big black fluffy death hawk and personally customised spiked leather jacket with band names written on it in white-out, but I still wasn’t as extreme-looking as other people. I dressed more like a dude. I made lots of friends in that scene. We all lost touch over time. I miss them.

I think I will customise leather jackets and sell them on Etsy because I was actually pretty good at it, and now know more now about how to make the custom painting last instead of chipping off over time. I have a couple thrifted leather jackets lying around waiting to be mutilated haha. I could probably do requested custom ones too. I should look into this more seriously because these jackets often sell for a couple hundred bucks or more. I buy leather jackets at thrift stores whenever I find them in anticipation of something like that. I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while now but not sure how to get started.

I’m trying to reserve my Etsy shops name but damn they make it difficult…it’s ’The Horror of Belladonna’. Weird name, I know. Gotta verify my bank account and ID. Like, can I just make the shop and do that afterwards? I also had to make a first listing, which is stupid. It’s a dummy listing which I will immediately delete when the shop is verified. I hope no one sees it before I can delete because it’s absolute rubbish!

Edit: I’m gonna use that remaining $100 from my $500 Self payout to pay off most of my pc Affirm costs. The pc was $300-something and I’ve paid off a lot of it but it’s like $27 a month. I want to get that paid off asap. I had planned on asking about filling in a scar on my face at the tattoo laser consultation but I’ll leave that for another time. I need to rid myself of some of these payments.

Listening to: Seraphim Shock – After Dark


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