Tag: friendship

Haven’t written in a while! Nice to see you again, my poor, neglected blog! 😅 I got addicted to a stupid mobile game and instead of writing when I get home, I play that friggin game! I swore that Cat Game would be my only mobile game, but I kept seeing adverts for those screw games. I finally caved and downloaded one. It satisfies my desire to sort things by colour. I don’t know why, but I have a strong urge to do that. It has a butt ton of ads, definitely a racket, but I still enjoy it, even though sometimes Royal Match/Royal Kingdom 2 minute long adverts sometimes pop up and those are the bane of my existence. Well, one of them at least. I always report adverts for that game for being “obscene”,  which is not a lie, because they are obscenely LONG. No one wants to sit through a fricken 2 minute advert (and more because of the demo) for your game. No one. Not one person on earth. It is not that awesome. lol I needed to get that out 😂 Anyways. This screw game is like catnip. Or maybe crack. Yeah, definitely crack.

I went out with Kellie yesterday and got another large amount of movies that I have no place to put yet. I’m aiming for having more movies than a Blockbuster haha. Shoot, I probably already do. Two Blockbusters then. 😆 I’m awful at managing my own space, as I have said before. If Roses would restock their furniture worth a crap, I could get a shelf! Roses sucks, but their shelving units are actually affordable and well made. That’s probably the only thing they get right, because they seem to have ruined Big Lots since they bought it. The one in my town hasn’t reopened just yet, but I’ll take a look when it does. Maybe it won’t suck as much, but I don’t have much hope. Ugh I miss that place. Also, JoAnne closed for good today ☹️ I believe every store closed. It’s a real shame, now there’s no place to get fabric. I should have gone and bought a ton of my favourite ones. Everything was 80-95% off but I’m dumb and waited until yesterday because I didn’t actually know the closing date and figured there was a little more time before they sold out of everything. There was nothing in there at all. It was sad. Just another empty building in this town…and one more place I loved, gone. I so wish I had bought all their crushed velvet. It’s my favourite material.

China King Buffet, the one that changed management and completely snafu’d the buffet, is now closed for “renovations”. I don’t think that’s really what they’re doing, they realised they dun goofed and are trying to regroup and do damage control or something. 😬 I think they lost a lot of business because of their counterproductive changes. They should have known people weren’t going to like what they did, but they did it anyways. Oh well, FAFO. 🤷‍♀️ Yeah, I’m still pretty mad. Still gotta find a new Chinese buffet. I miss crab Rangoon so bad.

I got Subway before I came home, and I think the girl that made my sandwich didn’t really know what she was doing. I’m not going into it because it aggravated the shit out of me, but it was so dumb! Do you not know what the flipping menu says is on the sandwich?? It’s right there, why are you fighting me on that? I am perfectly capable of going full Karen. I did it at a Pizza Hut a while back, but it was totally justified. I asked for the manager and everything 😆 I haven’t gotten food from them since, just like I said to that manager I wouldn’t. I hold food grudges pretty bad. I wouldn’t go near one place for twenty freaking years because the manager pissed me off when I was 17 and job hunting, and I was hoping to apply there. He wouldn’t even let me get an application form!

I once again prayed for God to send me a best friend. I have to believe it’ll happen… it’s something I need so badly. I feel pretty isolated sometimes. Not a nice feeling. It’s better than it was before I moved out of my parents house, because they were my whole world. They were the only people I talked to for the most part. Add in the depression, and it ended badly. At least the hospitalisation was the catalyst for me getting my own place. I was hospitalised in late January/early February of 2019 and moved out by August of 2019. Went off on a tangent again! I really never had a best friend. I thought I did, but later realised they were mentally and occasionally physically abusive. Also, toxic as hell. She made me feel bad about myself and always criticised everything I did in a non helpful way. I do not talk to her anymore. She was very selfish throughout our friendship and did ONE good thing for me in the 25+ years we’d been “friends”. One thing. I was grateful for that one thing, but that was it. She was a taker, not a giver. She took and took and took, invaded my privacy, disregarded any boundaries I’d set, and lied and went back on her word and said hurtful things and a lot more than that…honestly I just want to experience a real friendship. I need it so much. I hope my prayers are answered. I pray on it every night. A real friend. That would be…so wonderful. A totally platonic soulmate. I dream of it. I so badly need that connection.

Geez, I’m trying to remember what else I’ve done since I last wrote. It hasn’t been that long…but my memory sucks. I can’t remember shite 😭

At least I get paid at midnight!




Personal things about religion.




I HAVE A DATE!

My weight loss surgery is scheduled for August 22nd!!! My pre op is August 1st. I was super anxious that they never called so I called them. My dermatologist gave me the okay for surgery, everything is good with my abscess. It’s completely healed. YAY!!

I’ve been looking for ways to make friends…apps and stuff. I downloaded the Bumble for Friends app and Meetup. There just doesn’t seem to be anything interesting on meetup though. I’m looking for people who are kind of similar to me, but I’ll talk to anyone. Never know where you might find your new best friend. Honestly I’m tired of depending on mom for everything and only having her, my peer supports, and dad for company. I love them but I need more in life.




I wish I had a best friend. A ride-or-die. I don’t have anyone like that in my life and never really have. I thought at one point that I had a best friend but it was actually a toxic relationship that effectively squashed my self esteem. It would be nice to have someone who I could confide about anything in. I barely trust anyone so that would be…amazing. I never really trusted most of my friends because they would go through all my stuff even though I asked them not to, I mean my sketchbooks, my computer files, everything. I have really strong boundaries because of that, no one is allowed in my personal things unless I specifically give them permission and that never happens. No one is allowed to use my laptop but me. No one can see my sketchbook unless I decide they can. The trust is just gone.

I built up walls around myself taller than the ones in Attack on Titan 😆 No one has tried to breach them and I don’t know if anyone ever will.

sigh. Just thinking about this after seeing a video about friendship on YouTube…made me feel sad.




I honestly think that the friends I have had for 20+ years don’t give a shit about me anymore. I’m thinking of just deleting myself out of their lives. I don’t think they’ll care or miss me very much.

I am aware that I’m whining. This is my blog. That’s what it’s for. I just feel crappy about my friendships and have for a pretty long time. I’ve built up resentment towards some people and it doesn’t feel so good.

I want to forget about it. I want to make new friends and get on with my life. There are a couple of friendships I still value a lot though. I don’t know what to do about it because I don’t know how to talk to people anymore. /sigh

okay, bed time 🥱 g’night, internet.




Had an awesome day yesterday with 2 great friends. I also got my favorite sushi 🙂 Hehe

I’m very proud of my friend for completely breaking it off with stupid abusive druggie guy. *thumbs up*




I had so much fun Saturday 😀 My two friends and I went to a Chinese/Japanese place I had never been to and I tried three different types of sushi that I’ve never had before (not until after I pulled the little sliver of cucumber out though lol) and they were super good.

She got into the housing program, I’m so proud of how she is doing, even though she did go back to stay with that stupid abusive druggie guy, because she really had no place else to go I guess. He’s supposed to be clean but I don’t believe it. Eh. Eventually she won’t be living with him anymore. 🙂 Lmao I glared at him so hard when we dropped her off.

Otherwise, I’ve been looking so hard for the damned Hallowe’en cups that Wal-Mart is supposed to have this year. I saw several people on my Facebook horror groups had gotten them. The most shocking thing is there’s a Pinhead cup! Also Freddy, Jason and maybe Chucky. Wal-Mart also has an exclusive CHATTERER Funko Pop O___O I never realized Wal-Mart had Hellraiser stuff?! Well, I’m going to try to find it. Wish me luck.




News on my Targeted Key: Supposedly I am approved, but housing lady said that so I don’t know for sure lol. Now I just have to  wait for apartment openings.

Sunday afternoon, I had to take my best friend to the hospital, same reason I had to go; suicidal ideations. I can’t believe how cruel some people can be. How much of an awful person do you have to be to bring up someone’s two dead children and rub it in their face? How evil. I don’t know how some people sleep at night.

She’s in her room already, didn’t have to wait as long as I did thankfully, so I am going to visit her today. I really hope they give her some medication to even her out. There’s a lot more going on than just being suicidal, so much more, and I definitely see why she is feeling this way….

I’m trying to get her to go to the same mental health place I go to. I want her to get housing like I am. I want her to see a therapist.

Please wish us well.