Tag: blender

Trying to get back into my old Neopets account that I made in 2000 or 2001. I sent in a ticket, hope I gave enough info for them to help me out. My Zubat must be starving after 20+ years!

I’m also trying to get back my last.fm account from 2008. I ruined my current one when I had a manic episode and deleted over half my plays. I guess it’s a good thing I do harmless stuff when that happens but it’s still fucking annoying and I’m still kicking myself for doing that! The old account doesn’t have that many plays/artists on it but it’s more accurate to me.

I was looking for 3D model files to print (printer should be here by the tenth) and found some really cool ones. The are some Silent Hill ones I’ll print out and paint, maybe sell them on Etsy or something. I wish I understood 3D modeling enough to make my own. I tried blender a few years back and it was so difficult, I couldn’t even get through a tutorial. It was so confusing. I wish I could find an easier program for idiots like myself.




I’m up early, so I decided to fire up Blender and see if I could progress on my donut….I’m going to cry

I just cannot get anywhere with this thing

Finally got it to change colors in sculpt mode, so I guess that’s…something.


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The icing could cut a bitch


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I am so angry at my donut


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a bit better

I went out with peer support girl today, she was made aware of my request for a switch, and apologized for the things she did and said, and told me to tell her if she fucks up in the future. I said okay, and asked my therapist to hold off on switching her. I actually had a good time. We’ll see how things go from here on…

I haven’t worked on my godforsaken donut for three nights. I’m afraid to open Blender >.>; My donut is a nonut. I guess I’ll try to pick up on it again tomorrow night, since it’s almost 5 AM here now.

I don’t know if I’ll ever figure Blender out, I keep forgetting the hotkeys and still don’t understand what a subsurface modifier is! ;_;

Otherwise…I’ve spent my night looking for advice for people with autism and severe sensory problems and dating. I signed up for the forums at Wrongplanet and went over the love and relationships forum but didn’t find anything relevant to my problem. I don’t think there’s any forums about sensory problems and dating. I don’t know why I’m bothering to try and figure my problem out, no one’s ever gonna want me or put up with my issues. Especially the person I like. He likes thin, pretty girls, both of which I’m not. I can fix the thin part, but I don’t know if I’ll be as cute as I used to be when I was thin. >_> I don’t know how OLD I’ll look. That’s something that makes me very paranoid. Everyone tells me how young I look but will it be the same if I lost all the weight in my face? Will I look….droopy? Ugghhhh. I guess it’s better than being fat, though.

Ah well….until next time.




my donut is taking shape…slowly

Here it is so far.

Isn’t it beautiful? XD

EDIT hours later: LMAO WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY DONUT THIS IS REALLY HARD /weeps


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Wow, Blender has a hell of a learning curve! I’m going to start work on the famous donut tutorial maybe tomorrow, if I feel up to it. There’s just so much….lingo. I was reading info about it and the majority of my thoughts were “huh” and “wtf is that”. >_>;;

I hope I can understand. My goal is to make things I find aesthetically pleasing (outrun, vaporwave, cyberpunk), and that hopefully others would like as well.


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