I tried to draw a little self portrait for a profile pic and…nope. I feel like I have no control over the pencil. The lines are janky and wobbly. At least I tried, right? That’s more than I have been doing.
Another factor is patience, I think. I have very little of it. I was searching ways of building patience. I’ll try some of those things.
I found something interesting. It’s called GeneSight testing. It’s a genetic test compared to a litany of mental health medications and reveals which ones would react best with your DNA and body. I’m going to look into this seriously, I think Medicaid does cover it and a doctor has to order it. I know Dr Johnson would do that for me so I’m going to talk to her about it. I think my medications could be much improved. I have terrible brain fog that makes me worry I have dementia at the age of 39. I am tired constantly and have little energy or drive to do anything. At evening and night, I’m either sleeping or watching videos on YouTube. I could be doing so many other things but I don’t have it in me. I feel apathetic a lot and kind of zombie like. I really think I can do better. The only thing my current meds have given me is moderate stability and that’s not good enough anymore. I want to live my life!