My dad passed away at 5:50am today. I didn’t find out until around 2pm. Mom said she would tell me in person if something happened. When I got home from therapy, where I was still talking about him like he was still here, she told me.
Ive been nauseous and breathing funny since. I felt clammy and hot. I feel mentally…I don’t know. I have not processed a damn thing, I’m thinking “what will I do without a dad?” It hurts so bad. Most people go through this, I guess. I need advice on how to get through it but have no one to talk to!
Mom feels lost, in her own words. I’m staying overnight at her house. I guess I’ll keep my almost every other day schedule of doing that. Thinking of her being alone here all the time, especially since she’s not lived alone since 1983. I had a hard time adjusting to living alone, but not because someone in my family died.
Im gonna stop here, I feel so tired and dopey. Not thinking straight at all,
Peter Alan Bender 1961-2026. Rest in Peace, Dad. I’m so glad we were able to get along so well for the past 22 years. It meant so much to me, and I know it meant a lot to you too. I love ya.