Nothing special for hallowe’en this year, only saw like three kids out trick or treating after dark. For shame! 😬 I did have a wicked headache when I went to bed at around 8 that morning (told you my sleep schedule is backwards!) so I popped two Aleve and laid there, unable to find any position that would help the pain. I swear it felt like my eyeballs were gonna launch from their sockets. Everything else hurt too, including my neck, but goddam. I couldn’t go five seconds without repositioning my stupid head. I have no clue how I got to sleep even though it took forever. I woke up at 3-ish and it was even worse. Mom got here and I got up and “dressed” (zombie shirt, South Park pajama pants, lilo & stitch slip ons 😂 fucking visualise that.) and decided we’d just pick up food and eat at her house, because I was not fit to go to a restaurant, obviously. I realised a bit later that my headache was gone. When I went to bed at 6 this morning, after feeding and medicating the beast, I felt it starting to come back behind my eyes. I hollered “OH GOD PLEASE NO” which I’m pretty sure my neighbour heard. Laid down, because what else am I gonna do, I have to sleep. It didn’t come back, the eye pain faded away and I was able to sleep. I’m almost certain that was some kind of migraine considering how long it lasted and the intensity of the pain. My face and scalp were so tender! When I have headaches, I usually rub my temples and other spots on my face & head, but oh boy did it hurt this time.🥺 Odd, because I don’t remember the last time I had a migraine. I started having them when I was 12 I think, but it stopped being bad after a few years. I then only had them sporadically for many years after that, then they sort of petered out. This also felt like there was a lot of pressure involved. Pressure headaches suck! It had to have been a migraine, though, because it was so persistent and the fact that my go-to pain pills did nothing.
I wrote entirely too much about that, it’s like I have to over explain everything lol. Boring read, I know.
Yesterday did not feel like Hallowe’en to me. That was disappointing. It’s always disappointing. I used to feel it in the air around me. I haven’t felt that feeling in quite a while, I really miss it. Things felt different, but in a good way. I look back on that and wonder wtf happened and why can’t I feel the difference in the air anymore.
I almost sent mom’s shirt back, but she saw it and wouldn’t let me. I was so torn up about not being able to find what I wanted in long sleeves, even though I think Woot! Offered long sleeves for that shirt but it wouldn’t be in the woman’s fit, so I didn’t know what the fuck to do?! I kept tearing up about it the whole night. But she likes it. I just hope that wasn’t performative, to save my feelings or whatever. I don’t know if I’ll get her anything else. That stressed me out way too much. Mom is so goddam hard to shop for. Dad is super easy. I know what kind of shirts he likes for the most part. I was surprised he liked my “I have rabies” shirt as much as he did, he’s got very few “text” shirts. I always get him band shirts. I knew he’d think it was funny, but I didn’t know he’d want one for himself 😂 He doesn’t know I’m getting it, but mom told me he definitely wanted that shirt. I’m always happy to accept someone into the rabid raccoon club…*foams at the mouth*
It’s so nice to not have a lot of debt anymore. I consolidated into $100 a month payments to mom, which she passed on to my uncle who loaned her the money. I feel like I can breathe again. I have one affirm plan left and I’ll have another because of Christmas gifts but that’s fine. I have paid off the majority of that credit card. I’m not doing it totally at once. That would have been like throwing $100 into the freaking void! It’s physically painful to pay into a card knowing I can’t use the money and it’s gone forever. I’ll probably have it paid off next month or in January. Depends on how I feel.
Id better hurry and order some shirts. I got one at the beginning of last month that still hasn’t gotten here. About 25 days after I ordered, they shipped it! It’s coming from Spain, but I’ve gotten a number of things from Spain and they have never taken that long. I’m scared my gifts will come after Christmas as they have a couple of times before.
Well, I have to feed and shot the beast in…five minutes. Later, internet!