I’m not very close to any of my extended family, or any of my cousins. It makes me particularly sad about a specific cousins kids who are all grown now. I was there when two of them were born, and I actually was very close to the oldest when she was a toddler and I was 13-15 (who is now 27, that makes me feel super old) but time and distance happened. The other two, I haven’t interacted with since their ages were in single digits. I don’t really know them at all. But still, I do care about them and genuinely like them. I hear updates on their lives through mom when she talks to my uncle, who is their grandfather. They live in the middle of the state where they went to college, so it’s a good distance.

Anyways. Last night, mom got a call from my uncle at around 8pm. The youngest of the sisters is in the hospital and in pretty bad shape. I always heard about her being an extremely picky eater, which I totally understood because so am I. From the other things I heard, I had an inkling she might be on the spectrum or something. She was one of those unfortunate kids that lost a whole year of being in school because of Covid lockdowns. She hasn’t been the same since. Didn’t want to ever leave the house or do anything, really. Just sit by the pool and read. Her parents finally told her to go to school or get a job, or she would have to leave. She picked school. I think I got off track, but that’s some context.

This girl eats once every day, and she only eats one thing. A box of cheese curds. That’s it, nothing else. When she was a teenager, it was steamed cheese sandwiches. That, and she runs ALL the time. She is very, very skinny but thinks she’s fat. I didn’t even know that until today. My uncle says she has “weird ideas” but didn’t expound on what they are. She called her sister yesterday and told her something was wrong. Her sister goes to her apartment and was shocked at the state she was in. She went to the hospital immediately and they did a ton of tests, only to find that her hemoglobin was at 3. Optimally, it should be over 12, and anything under 7 is….really bad. Hers is so low, they were saying she might not make it. They have treated her with blood and iron and it’s up to 7 last I heard. Still far from being out of the woods.

Her sister, the one that got her to the hospital, went there early this morning and told the doctor and psychologist not to believe a word she said and that something is wrong mentally as well. She has a degree in psychology so I think she would be able to see that. They are now speculating anorexia, which makes sense…I don’t know everything about it, obviously, but eating so little and constantly running and thinking she’s fat? I wonder how she was functioning day to day, because she has a job.

I prayed for her a lot last night. I really hope she pulls through and is able to overcome whatever this is. Last I heard she hasn’t been diagnosed with anything yet. If it is anorexia, I know a lot of people don’t survive it. I hope she’ll realise that she needs to eat more than cheese curds. Body dysmorphia is a bitch, I know from experience. She’s probably always going to think she’s fat even though she’s extremely small. ☹️ It’s almost impossible to get out of that mindset. You can’t really force someone to eat against their will…at least I don’t think so?

Fucking cheese curds. I had no idea it was that bad.

I KNOW I had something else to write about it but I forgot what it was 🥴 meh, if I remember, I’ll add it. But no one reads this, so…I guess it’s just my mind dump haha