Month: June 2025

Jun 30 2025 June 30, 2025 June 30, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Got to go out for dad’s bday last night, it was super good. I had the sourest Midori Sour I’ve ever had lol. Can’t believe he’s 64. Neither of my parents look their age. I hope to inherit that trait myself 🙃

I get paid tonight, thank God. I only have $7 in my bank account.

The anomalous acne breakout is still ongoing. I now have two big ones on my right cheek. They’re in the exact same places that resulted in me getting a big scar from popping them when I was 15. I feel like 16 year old pre-accutane me again ☹️ That medication made my life a lot easier back then, because I had really bad cystic acne and the accutane totally wiped it out. That can’t be reversed, can it? 😅 This is extra weird but I’m sure I’m just being paranoid. Cystic acne was its own kind of torment 😬 Freaks me out thinking about it coming back somehow.


Jun 28 2025 June 28, 2025 June 28, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I thought I might need to go to the hospital, but decided on Urgent Care as it was still open, to see if I actually had a need for a hospital visit. The abdominal pain is awful today. This has been the worst day so far (well technically yesterday) since it started last Friday. Doc gave me some medicine and I finally got home at 10pm. It’s helped the stomach pain a bit, but the intestinal….😭 I was actually scared because of how horrible I felt when I got home, I have not felt that bad in a long time. I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt that bad in this specific way. I was borderline passing out. I ate a whole HALF BOWL OF GRAPES. That was my food for the day. I did not take my insulin because I just knew somehow I wasn’t gonna eat.

I felt horrible, dad felt crappy himself, so we didn’t go out for his birthday. We moved it to Sunday night, but who knows if I’ll be any better. If shit hasn’t gotten any better by this afternoon, I was told to come back to urgent care. I have an appointment with my doctor Monday and I am NOT going to cancel, don’t care if it’s totally better. I have waaay too many problems with my stomach and intestines and need to get a handle on it, finally. Last time I had a camera shoved down my throat, there was a polyp in my stomach that they cut out. Maybe I grew another one and it’s giving me issues. Still waiting on a better appointment time with them. The first opening they had was in fucking September!

I am a miserable, grouchy sod. Please send help. Maybe some kittens. 😣


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Jun 27 2025 June 27, 2025 June 27, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I’ve noticed that the past few nights, I’ve been nervous. Jittery. Antsy. Maybe even a tad dysphoric. I don’t know why that would be. I took my meds, but it sort of feels like I didn’t. I really hope it doesn’t become a chronic thing. 😐

Wednesday was dad’s 64th bday, so tonight is his night to pick a special (expensive haha) place to eat, and he of course chose Kobe Japanese Steakhouse, which we all love. I usually pick it for my bday as well, but changed my mind this year and went for some crab legs. I’m trying to look forward to it, but this stomach thing is making it difficult.

I can’t believe it’s Friday again. It seems like last Friday was yesterday. Time is flying by so fast. Why does it feel like that when you get older?


Jun 26 2025 June 26, 2025 June 26, 2025 NoComment by Eden

I’m dumb.

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I should have gone to my doctors appointment this afternoon, but I felt better and canceled. Dumb move. I got nauseous again and had to chug Pepto, which did help. I got a meatball sub on the way home. I didn’t get a large because I’ve learned I can’t eat them and/or they make me sick. I was happy to sit down and eat something I love that I also haven’t had in a long time. I got done and cleaned up and…the nausea hit me like a freaking freight train! It was ridiculously aggressive too. Like…really intense. I’m a mild emetophobe (fear of puking) and was too afraid to run to the bathroom or garbage can, because I was too scared to move. I prayed HARD. I sipped my carbonated drink and finally got the courage to carefully walk to the garbage can. Oddly, I am particularly scared to puke in a toilet. Weird, right? I opened the lid but instead of puking, I burped super loud three times 😂 Thank you God lmao. I’m okay now, but that feeling in my stomach was crazy. I’m going to try to get an appointment tomorrow because I’m starting to believe mom’s theory of H Pilori bacteria. Or however the hell it’s spelled. I don’t know how they would test for it, I have an unpleasant idea, but I kinda really hope it’s not that 😬 It has to be something, because it’s abnormal for me, and I’m a person who is frequently nauseous. That’s how weird this is. I definitely have something going on, and I hope there’s an antibiotic for it, as much as I hate taking antibiotics 😭 The one given for H Pilori is for three friggin weeks!

Look, I’m just hoping I don’t have to poo in a cup, because that’s how I suspect they’d test for a bacterial infection like that. I can’t handle poo. I hate using the bathroom for a reason!! I can barely handle my own bodily functions! Oh, contamination OCD….you bring such fuckin joy to my life 😆

On to something that isn’t nasty!

I was in the dollar store and saw a poster for a new Mountain Dew flavour. Karen had also mentioned it yesterday and of course, I have to try it. The dollar store didn’t have any, despite the ad. For the (zero lol) people who read this who don’t already know about my Mountain Dew fixation, I HAVE to try every single one they come out with. I’m still waiting to find the one they did with Little Caesars, but it wasn’t in their store. So there’s two new flavours I haven’t tried, which drives me bonkers. Ever since the debut of Code Red, I have had a fixation.  I actually own the fanlisting for Code Red: http://silent.am/codered because it’s one of my favourite things ever. In high school, the assholes in charge would close the gate around the drink machines after school, so I would climb over the tall iron gate, jump down, and get my daily Code Red, as well as drinks for the rest of my friends, praying the whole time nobody important walked out the back door 😭 I probably would have gotten in school suspension if I got caught. Honestly, I just miss being able to scale a tall fence as easily as I did 🥴


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Jun 25 2025 June 25, 2025 June 25, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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If I’m getting sick, it’s taking its sweet time to get going. I’ve had the same symptoms for two days and it has gone no further than drainage and a weird feeling in my throat. Also the nausea I’ve been feeling since last Friday. Normally, I’d have a sore throat and stuffy nose by now, and would be able to feel it in my bones. I’m going to try and see my doctor today, finally. I’ve been putting it off because I feel like I’ve been there too much lately and she’s going to think I’m a hypochondriac or malingerer. 😅


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Jun 24 2025 June 24, 2025 June 25, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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After I downgraded my cable package to save money, I was happy to find a channel similar to ID. It’s called True Crime Network and I think it’s Canadian. Lately, usually in the late afternoon or at 10pm on the dot, it suddenly switches to hockey games. It’s not the same network, a logo (I guess a local channel in Canada or the northern US) appears in the corner. It’s someone else’s local channel, but for some unknown reason, TCM has been switching to it every night. It’s been about a week since that first happened. I don’t know if talking to my awful cable provider would help, kind of doubt it. I have nothing against hockey or Canadians….it’s just weird and annoying as hell. 😬 It cuts five minutes off the end of Forensic Files every damn time. I’m sure others are as confused as I. 🤷‍♀️

Edit at 3:12 am: it didn’t switch to hockey tonight. Odd.


Jun 24 2025 June 24, 2025 June 24, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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Whatever’s going on with me has only gotten worse over the past few days. I’ll spare anyone reading the TMI details, but otherwise I’ve been feeling very weak and thought I was going to pass out more than a few times. It actually feels like one of those “low sugar” episodes (I call it that because I’m not sure what it really is) that I usually get rid of by drinking a glass of milk. Milk does nothing for this. I have no idea what to do, go tell my doctor for the fifth time that I have ANOTHER friggin issue?? 😐

Starting about an hour ago, I feel like I might also be germ sick. Throat feels funny, lots of drainage. Mom said I should get tested for H Pilori or however it’s spelled. I hope it isn’t that. Doesn’t it take three weeks of antibiotics to get rid of? Maybe it’s a weird feeling that will go away, or I’m only imagining it because I’m afraid of being sick.

I really hope I’m not germ sick with whatever’s making the rounds at the moment. I’m so pitiful when sick or generally unwell, it’s embarrassing. Doesn’t matter what it is. Could be a sprained ankle or some other lame thing. I’d still be absolutely pathetic 😅

ah well…6am. Bedtime. Good night/morning. 💕


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Jun 20 2025 June 20, 2025 June 20, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I feel like I’m sick…or maybe it’s just a heart attack 🤷‍♀️ Seriously, I got a stomach ache a couple days ago. It didn’t feel any better yesterday and my food intake for that day was two bananas. But today was unexpected and disturbing. As soon as I rolled out of bed and started to shower, the back and neck pain hit. Hard. I also have pain in my shoulders but it’s not my real concern. Oh, I forgot my sides. Around my rib cage . Felt like I was being squeezed. I’m worried it could be something unpleasant, I was told that when women have heart attacks, sometimes their sides hurt. It did make it a little difficult to draw a breath for a few minutes. I hope it’s a 48 hour virus that will peter out by tomorrow. Bleh.

I was watching local news last night and a man (who gave off serious grandpa vibes) did a crime segment. I love mugshots 🥴 He showed a couple, and the second one was a white guy with long, disheveled brown hair, a stache, and the typical “meth stare”. He paused for a few seconds and said “He looks like lieutenant Dan.” In the grandpa-est voice ever. I was deceased. 😂

Oscar might have to stop drinking from the sink faucet. He demands me or mom turn it on many times every day. He drinks a lot too, maybe about 6-7 minutes average. The problem is that he’s doing an insane amount of pissing. Today, it smelled SO bad I nearly puked. I have never smelled it that strongly. The pee pad was in a trash bag mom was taking out the door, and it left a freaking trail of ammonia scent and I was standing a decent distance from mom. I can’t deal with that. No, my apartment does not smell like cat piss all the time…just when the pee pad has to be changed out. Which is every day now. His pee pads used to last for a week! I don’t know why this creature is so dang THIRSTY, I really hope it’s not diabetes…

Maybe I’ll let him drink from the faucet once every day, and cut it off after a few minutes.

Man, I’m tired from the pain. I’m in my recliner now so it’s not so bad, but I fear getting up because of the severe dizziness. I almost fainted three times after my shower. wtf.

 


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Jun 15 2025 June 15, 2025 June 15, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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I am having an acne breakout the likes of which I have not seen since I was 16. And it’s almost all on my friggin chin. I keep touching it and cringing mightily 😬

Just an insignificant update on my boring life since I haven’t been writing regularly lately lol. Don’t know what’s wrong with me.


Jun 10 2025 June 10, 2025 June 10, 2025 NoComment by Eden

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There has been very loud scratching and light knocking on either my door, or the vinyl siding next to it. It is creeping me the fuck out. It’s been happening on and off for about 40 minutes, since right after I got home. If that door handle moves, I’m calling the freaking cops!

Some of my anime fanlistings are on troubles because when I switched them to Endymion.nu, the codes aren’t showing up any more. I guess it’s codesort. I have a week to fix it but I don’t know what to do. I don’t have backups of the codes on my laptop because I didn’t expect that to happen. That means I will have to download the codes folder from the codesort directory and go through all of them, which is a massive pain in the ass. I don’t know if I’ll install codesort on Endymion. Ugh, I just have the energy to do this. I really don’t want to lose my anime related fanlistings because I’ve had some of them for a decade and they’re sentimental to me. I guess I’ll have to.

The damn scratching is back! Ahhh

I go to the digestive health place at friggin 9:00am tomorrow. I don’t know what they’re gonna do. I have no idea. The swallowing problem has gotten worse in the last month or so. I do believe it’s a treatable physical issue, not anxiety. I hope I’m right.


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