I had the breathing under control yesterday, and it seems to be mostly okay today. *crosses fingers*
Mom is sick with some sort of awful virus. Me and dad will probably get it too. I’m really scared because I don’t know how it would affect my breathing issue. I’d probably wind up in the hospital out of fear and panic alone. A few mornings ago, I had a low sugar attack and it was probably the worst one ever. I call it low sugar even though I don’t really know what these episodes are. Anyhow, I was panting and breathing hard and didn’t think I had any milk (milk cures it for some reason I can’t explain) so I called mom freaking out and she told me she had gotten me milk and I indeed had some. I am so incredibly unobservant lmao. I quickly drank a full glass and had to wait about ten minutes for it to kick in. I fell back into bed, a sweaty panting mess, and waited for it to stop. It did its job, but the breathing thing went on. I was panting so hard and couldn’t get a deep breath which sent me into an absolute panic and I was thrashing around and thought I was going to die or something. It’s really scary. I knew I was having a panic attack of sorts but that didn’t make me feel any better. I’m afraid that’s what will happen if I get sick, because I don’t handle illness very well. I have a phobia of drowning/suffocating. Not being able to breathe right, basically. It’s one of my worst fears. I’m so afraid of shit like lung cancer, copd and whatnot. My worst nightmare. Ugh. 😣 I’m gonna stop talking about it.
I got a spicy crunch roll on the way home, one for now and one for later tonight. They actually heat up pretty well. It’s the only sushi I’ll eat except for nigirizushi, and I almost never find those anymore. The freaking Chinese place makes every other kind of fucking sushi but they refuse to make those. I don’t understand because they used to. I call the sushi guy who works there “Doctor No” because the times I asked if he would make nigirizushi, he would bark “NO!” At me o_o yikes…
I’m going out with Karen tomorrow, I hope she’s willing to go out of town. There’s nothing to do here. Which is weird because morganton has turned from a “clandestine manufacturing town” as a rather snooty article once described us, to a fucking hipster town over the past 15-20 years. Man-buns galore. There’s nothing but craft beer places, and stores that have expensive stuff I can’t afford.
A store owner in downtown said Morganton is like Asheville without (most) of the crime. I’d like downtown Asheville without the hippies and crime lol. Rather go there. Helene kind of destroyed it though. I haven’t been up there to see the damage yet. 🙁 It’s been six months but they’re not even close to recovering from it and a lot of people are still living in FEMA trailers. I don’t know how downtown fared, but I know the rural/residential areas got it really bad.
Well, that was a ramble. Guess I needed to write something.