I think I found a 3D printer table with filament storage that I want. Problem is I’d have to add another damn affirm to my list of payments since it’s $150. It’s the only one with the right dimensions. But I kinda need it because I need my workspace back. Also, the filament storage is a nice touch.

Edit: I’m having minor panic attacks because of my memory being as bad as it is. I worry so much that something is seriously wrong with me. It’s been a very long time (almost two decades) since this started being a problem. I’ve always been terrified of dementia or Alzheimer’s dementia, because three of my four grandparents had some type. I know my paternal grandfather had Alzheimer’s while my maternal grandmother had vascular dementia. My paternal grandmother, I don’t know which kind. I saw what it did to them and gained what I would almost call a phobia of it. I’ve talked to mom about my fear and she admits my memory sucks, but she doesn’t think it’s anything like that, and sometimes people just don’t have a good memory. One of my peer supports years ago told me she thought it’s because I might not pay as good attention to things as I think I do. I considered that, and she could be right. I do have adhd and bad memory kind of comes with the territory…at least I read that somewhere. I can’t pay attention to anything for too long. I’m back and forth between different things all the time, kind of like I’m doing at the moment. Anyway, I had a few minutes of panicky feelings and felt the need to write about it. I remember having full blown panic attacks about this back in 2015 or thereabouts. It’s been going on a really long time.

I got the 3D printer stand. I had it mailed to my address because mom almost yelled at me for sending a heavy item to her house. I usually send things I buy to their house because I fear porch pirates, and they live in a hidden little neighbourhood up in the trees that no one seems to notice. I figure my packages would be safer there. Trust no one haha

I got some business cards made at VistaPrint for what I figured is a decent deal. I only got 50, as that’s the lowest amount you can get. I don’t expect to use up that fifty any time in the near future. I don’t anticipate getting tons of orders on anything, maybe some here and there, but we’ll see how it goes.

Here is what they look like, front and back;

Screenshot

Screenshot

I have some other stuff picked out on Amazon that I’m not getting yet. Spooky thank you stickers, black & white striped tissue paper, black mailers of differing sizes etc. I always had an interest in branding and packaging. I think things need to be presented nicely, and should match the mood of what’s inside said package. I had a whole Pinterest board for that type of thing but it’s archived now. It gave me lots of ideas.

Edit 2: my pop socket fell off two more times. I had a thought and checked my Etsy order and I had NOT ordered the Pop Socket brand back like I thought, I ordered the generic one, which is my mistake. She offered to mail me another adhesive back and I asked if she’d just send me a Pop Socket brand back, and I’d swap it out, and pay her the difference. I think it’s $10. I can’t risk dropping my phone and breaking possibly my phone screen or my adorable bat pop socket back. It looks like it could definitely break if dropped right. I’m actually having anxiety over this, which is ridiculous! O_o

Edit 3: I’ve just now decided I want to go back on my old medication because I am not well. Ever since changing, I haven’t been. I wanted to give everything a chance to even out but it never did. I’m actually a mess right now, I feel like I have been defeated. I feel beaten up. The anxiety is so bad tonight I’m going to have to take another Ativan. It’s almost like the Ativan in my meds 2 hours ago did nothing. I’m gonna go do that now. I can’t wait for mom to come today, I need to get out of here really bad.

Sometimes I hate living alone. 😓

Edit 4: I now realise I should have added “jackets & art” on the back of those cards. I can’t edit it now. Damn.