Posted in Uncategorized
Happy Hallowe’en!! 🎃
Month: October 2024
I did my civic duty and voted the other day. Had to wait in line for a while. I’m glad I got it over with because for some reason, voting stresses me out. That, and I hate lines.
Happy Friday! It’s almost Hallowe’en!
I have been feeling very low for the past few days. I have stopped caring about my health. I am drinking sugary sodas again. I just feel hopeless. And I can’t make myself care right now. Why didn’t I have the fucking surgery? If I had, things would be going according to my plans. But no, I let myself get manipulated like a little kid. I will NEVER listen to anyone, especially my mom, again. I can’t believe how she acted in the days leading up to the surgery date. Just an insane person. “I can feel you wavering” she said. She really said that. Gleefully. I’ll never waver again, I’ll tell you that god damn much.
It’s been making me feel like garbage. I obsess over it, especially at night when I’m alone with my thoughts. I had an opportunity for something great and I missed it and now I’m in the same shitty place I was before. I could have been well under 200lbs by now. I’ve definitely gained a little bit and am probably over my previous weight of 220. The only way I lost weight before was by not eating. I don’t know how to do this on my own. I truly needed the help.
I’m so fucking angry, I’m glad I get to talk to my therapist today. I’m also requesting a change of peer supports. Kim is mentally tiresome. I’m depressed and don’t give a shit anymore. 🤗
I don’t understand Klarna. For those who don’t know, it’s one of those “pay in four” apps, I’ve only seen it used on Etsy. You pay in four payments every two weeks.
I have bought plenty with them and I imagine they have profited quite a bit on the interest. I am never late on payments, nor have I ever missed one. In fact, I’m always early to pay!
So why do they treat me like I’m at risk of not paying? 0_o They always jack up my first payment to two or three times the amount it would have been. They need to adjust their algorithm or whatever.
I dunno…it’s just irksome. 🙁
I saw some more devastation up by the lake. More houses washed down the river, like they were never there to begin with. I hope this hurricane was a fluke once in a century thing and that it never happens again. What an absolute nightmare.
Here I am… in the hospital again. lol
Edit At 2:30am: I thought I was having a heart attack or stroke or something but they didn’t identify anything really wrong. Good. Although I sure didn’t FEEL good…god that was weird. I just got home, anyways.
I should note that the candy corn pumpkins virus dehydration fiasco was almost exactly one year ago. 😀 yeah…that was fun. Good times.
Gah, why am I so tired? All the damn time. I just woke up from a nap and feel like I need another one. Geez.
I’m mostly better from Covid, just feeling some of the after effects that always take a while to go away…mom and dad are still sick.
I got two of my vintage shirts from Etsy and they’re beautiful…one is darker than I thought it would be but oh well. They must have had good lighting in their photos.
I asked mom if we could make cupcakes for hallowe’en and she agreed, so I found an Oogie Boogie cupcake kit at Walmart and got that. Oogie Boogie is actually my favorite character from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Okay, I feel shitty so I’m gonna lie down. Good night, internet.
I went to the site of where my cousins houses were…it was completely destroyed. Houses washed off their foundations, piles of rubble. Only a few were left standing although they are completely ruined and they aren’t sure they can be salvaged. I think they’d have to just gut everything including the ceilings and start from scratch. Then again, they might be unsafe to be in, like the foundation being cracked on one of them…I don’t know, it’s just bad. Really bad. I only got a couple of pics because it was the exact same scene over and over for like a mile.
Posted in life
Dad is almost done putting the printer together! That’s been his “sick project” I guess. He’s bored without internet and YouTube. They’re getting that back tomorrow. Anyhoo I can’t wait to try it out. We have to get it back to my apartment, get it up the stairs (it’s heavy), put it into it’s fireproof enclosure and then level it.
Mom swears they’ll kick me out of my apartment if they find out I have it, which I don’t agree with. I’ve taken every safety precaution into consideration. There is very little chance or reason that anything would go wrong. Like I said, fireproof enclosure, ring camera to keep an eye on it when I’m not there, and stuff like that. It’s far less dangerous than say, a stove. Most people have a stove. If they find out I have it and say I can’t keep it there, I’ll move it to mom and dad’s basement. Honestly I don’t think they’d know what it is if they did notice it. XD it’s not really obvious to people who don’t know 3D printers. They’d probably wonder wtf it is, or just not notice at all. Anyhow.
I think I’m well enough to go out and do things now, and I’m 99% sure I’m no longer contagious. I feel okay. Just okay. I didn’t have enough Sudafed to sustain me today so some of the drainage came back. I got some and it’s all good.
I got some wild looking pumpkins. A white one, an orange one, and a white one speckled with green and orange. I have never had pumpkins like these before. They look so cool. I’ll post a pic. They’re sitting outside my front door. 🎃
I feel okay-ish right now, but mom & dad aren’t doing that well. They didn’t take the antivirals so maybe that’s why I’m doing better. I particularly worry about mom since she had the raging legionnaires pneumonia a while back. Having had that seems to make Covid worse. Dad is pretty resilient.
I finally called CoMPAS (my isp) today and they said that my whole complex has internet except for a few apartments. Of course, mine was one of them 🥴
So a guy is coming to fix it tomorrow.
The taste in my mouth from the Antivirals is…. I can describe it best as “bitter hobo ass”. It was so bad this morning that I almost gagged. I read chewing gum helps so that’s what I’ve been doing. This is like that time I took Lunesta to help with sleep, and it made such a nasty taste in my mouth, I said it tastes like I slept with a hobo’s foot in my mouth.
Yesterday at the doctors office, there was this dad and young son sitting behind me in the waiting room.
Kid: aggghhhuuueeuuugghhhhaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!
Dad: Bro…
I dunno, made me giggle 😅