I got the results from my GeneSight test! It looks like I do need a change in medication. Two of the important meds are in the yellow zone (there’s green, yellow and red, you want your meds to be in the green). I need to give these results to my psychiatrist.
Edit at 4am: I’m feeling like utter garbage. I should be getting a new, smaller stomach today. Should be. I let mom wear me down and make me unsure of myself. She was acting like she was going to have a heart attack over it and made me feel bad. I should not have caved. I don’t know if I’ll ever get another shot at this. I’m angry, but mostly I’m sad. Sad that I worked for this for over two goddamn years and this is how it ends. With a whimper, and me feeling like a fool and a failure. I’m eating my fucking feelings again. I feel sad, I eat. I had stopped that for the most part. I feel hopeless. I’m going to be in fat jail forever and I’ll probably gain all the weight I lost back, and then some. Because that’s how it always ends. I might try for it again sometime, and fuck her feelings. I don’t care anymore.