Month: July 2024

Jul 30 2024 July 30, 2024 July 30, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I have concluded that I don’t know how to color in traditional media. I have been doing it wrong this whole time. I’m better digitally. Seeing people coloring with traditional media in videos just makes me feel…inadequate. I have a beautiful set of prismacolor pencils that I’m afraid to use because with my bad coloring, it’d be a waste of expensive pencils. Ugh. I want to learn, I really do…I feel like I’ll never live up to my own standards. I’m holding myself back and it’s my own fault.


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Jul 29 2024 July 29, 2024 July 30, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I found a fantastic note taking app called Joplin. Better than Evernote. And it’s free. Only problem is syncing because it’s a pain in the ass. Let’s hope I’m able to get my stories straightened out, because it’s a daunting task. I have a LOT of notes and they’re jumbled, and when I changed my mind on something I’d just jot it down and not bother to go back and correct the notes that came before. Because I’m lazy. It’s like a big knot to untangle. I may begin to talk more about my stories here…no one reads it though. I like feedback I just don’t have anyone to give it to me.

I’m having serious anxiety. I want to draw so bad but I can’t seem to do it. I’m talking near panic attack levels of anxiety. It sucks to be an artist who can’t yet make art. I think it’ll happen soon though. I hope.

Also, I’m still waiting to get my $100 back from Hobby Lobby, it’s taking forever.


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Jul 26 2024 July 26, 2024 July 26, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I installed a wiki and want to scream because I don’t understand how to use it. I’m trying to get my shit together regarding my future online comics and figured organizing all the info with wiki pages would be easy. Google Keep isn’t sufficient anymore and I signed up for Evernote which is awesome, but then I realized it costs a ridiculous amount of money if you want it to be usable. I was so mad. I don’t know of a better alternative. I loved how I could make “notebooks” for different things, and make different sections in each notebook. I would keep notes by hand but my handwriting is illegible and my hand cramps really bad when I write too much. Argh. I really wish I could find something exactly like Evernote, but free.


Jul 25 2024 July 25, 2024 July 25, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I had an insurance SNAFU the other day. I have a slightly different version of Medicaid than most people, called ‘tailored plan’ which focuses more on mental health services. I was switched over to it without notification and when I went for my one week post-op eye appointment, I was told they don’t accept the tailored Medicaid. They didn’t even know if this Medicaid would pay for the eye surgery I just had. Oh boy. Then I realized, what if it won’t pay for the weight loss surgery?! I started freaking out. Mom called Medicaid this morning and it looks like they will pay for both, unless we’re understanding wrong. I don’t know about the second eye surgery though. I might have to go somewhere else for that. I wish I’d been given a choice before they did that…


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Jul 24 2024 July 24, 2024 July 25, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Ugh, my stories are a mixed up mess. The plot bunnies are once again running circles in my head…

I basically decided to replace several characters in Rune Pandora with completely new ones, not the same characters I’ve had for 24 years. I decided to take them out of that story and put them in a vampiric setting, because they were vampires since I created them. I couldn’t work the vampire angle into Rune Pandora, it just wasn’t working and would be a weird, distracting subplot. I’m working on a new one now with my old characters called Age of Arcane. I now have to untangle all the notes I’ve written for the past four years and change pretty much everything and split them up neatly into two stories. And create several new characters. Why do I do this to myself lol. I can’t even get myself to draw yet. I honestly think I get ahead of myself sometimes. How do I have characters I made in 2000 that don’t have a story yet? How have I only been working on this for four years? Why can’t I decide what I want to do with them? I think I’m on the right path now, though.

I’m also building a foundation for a short comic strip called “Goth Opera”, like a parody of soap operas but…goths. It’ll probably be totally dumb and unfunny but whatever. I am decent at creating characters, at least I think so…haha.

I see my therapist today and I can’t wait to tell her I was approved for weight loss surgery and now have a scheduled date!! She is probably my biggest supporter. I know she’ll be excited about it!

I’ll stop rambling now. Good night, internet.


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Jul 23 2024 July 23, 2024 July 23, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I have made a decision… I think when god forbid, something happens to my mom, I’m going to move to somewhere like New Orleans, Louisiana. I’m so tired of having no one around me that I can relate to. If I moved to a place like that, I think finding friends would be a lot easier. And that’s all I want, good, strong relationships with people, people I can call friends. That’s all I ever wanted out of life. I sort of had that in high school for a short period of time. I miss it. I don’t want to be so solitary anymore. I can only hope dad would come with me if he’s still around. No one ever knows what’s going to happen…I wish I could go now and they’d both come with me, but they will not leave this stupid town.

I just want to be normal (in a neurological sense) person with good relationships…


Jul 22 2024 July 22, 2024 July 25, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Know what fucking sucks? The DAVE app. I tried to create an account because sometimes I need an extra $50 cash advance towards the end of the month and that’s a service they provide. I tried to open an Extra Cash account and the dumb app would not recognize my address. So I sent a help ticket, which was never answered. I sent another one tonight and immediately got a response. They said I couldn’t open an account and that I couldn’t appeal the decision, with no real explanation why. The motherfuckers took a dollar out of my bank account too.

Don’t use Dave. The customer service is awful which I guess reflects on how the company is run. Leave that shit alone.

I told them to give me my dollar back. No response yet.

 


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Jul 21 2024 July 21, 2024 July 21, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I have noticed since my cataract surgery that my close up vision is drastically worse than before. Before surgery, my close up wasn’t fantastic, especially if I tried to look too close, but it was okay. Now I can’t see shit. My far away vision is pretty good now. I’m hoping it’s a non-permanent side effect and will fix itself. The ophthalmologist said I’d still have to have glasses for up close but he didn’t say anything about it getting so much worse. I only ever wore glasses for far away vision.

At least I can wear sunglasses now 😅


Jul 18 2024 July 18, 2024 July 18, 2024 NoComment by Eden

I HAVE A DATE!

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My weight loss surgery is scheduled for August 22nd!!! My pre op is August 1st. I was super anxious that they never called so I called them. My dermatologist gave me the okay for surgery, everything is good with my abscess. It’s completely healed. YAY!!

I’ve been looking for ways to make friends…apps and stuff. I downloaded the Bumble for Friends app and Meetup. There just doesn’t seem to be anything interesting on meetup though. I’m looking for people who are kind of similar to me, but I’ll talk to anyone. Never know where you might find your new best friend. Honestly I’m tired of depending on mom for everything and only having her, my peer supports, and dad for company. I love them but I need more in life.


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Jul 18 2024 July 18, 2024 July 18, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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The eye surgery went very well and I’m shocked at how clear my vision in that eye is. It gets blurry at times but I was told that’s normal. I’m wearing a plastic eyepatch which I get to remove this morning in my follow-up appointment. I’m glad because the thing is driving me nuts. I came home and slept most of the day because of the medication they gave me.

I really want dad to come tomorrow and help me assemble the printer but he probably won’t 🙁 I have a dermatologist appointment at two something and she says he won’t want to stay there alone and work on it…or something. The dermatologist is going to look at my abscess and let me know how it’s healing. I’m pretty sure it’s completely closed but yeah.