I wish I had a best friend. A ride-or-die. I don’t have anyone like that in my life and never really have. I thought at one point that I had a best friend but it was actually a toxic relationship that effectively squashed my self esteem. It would be nice to have someone who I could confide about anything in. I barely trust anyone so that would be…amazing. I never really trusted most of my friends because they would go through all my stuff even though I asked them not to, I mean my sketchbooks, my computer files, everything. I have really strong boundaries because of that, no one is allowed in my personal things unless I specifically give them permission and that never happens. No one is allowed to use my laptop but me. No one can see my sketchbook unless I decide they can. The trust is just gone.

I built up walls around myself taller than the ones in Attack on Titan 😆 No one has tried to breach them and I don’t know if anyone ever will.

sigh. Just thinking about this after seeing a video about friendship on YouTube…made me feel sad.