Month: July 2024

Jul 17 2024 July 17, 2024 July 17, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Oh my god I am so antsy I can’t stand it. 3 hours. Hurry the fuck up and let me get this over with! I decided to just not go to sleep at all. I also wasn’t supposed to eat or drink anything after midnight but my sugar bottomed out at 2am and I ate a couple ice pops to get it to go back up. I was shaky and hot. I couldn’t stay that way. Also if sugar gets low enough, it can send me into a coma or kill me. I hope that won’t be an issue…

I am so hungry. This sucks. You bet I’ll be eating some breakfast biscuits from McDonalds after this…


Jul 16 2024 July 16, 2024 July 16, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I go for my eye surgery tomorrow at 7am. I wouldn’t say I’m scared or nervous, but I always wonder stuff like, what if he fucks up and blinds me or something. O_o; Not that I think that’d happen, but things like that are bound to cross your mind.

The printer still isn’t put together, dad wasn’t feeling well enough today. I ordered the enclosure and ring camera the other day. And now I have almost no money left lol

Listening to: Children on Stun – Cats or Devil’s Eyes


Jul 14 2024 July 14, 2024 July 14, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I decided to get an enclosure for the printer and a ring camera to keep an eye on it when I’m out of the house. That should take care of any problems anyone has. Dad decided to come Monday instead. It should be put together and hopefully he’ll help me level it as well because that looks weird and difficult. I don’t really understand it completely.

I started the eye drops, not as bad as I thought it would be.

Listening to: Towards Wonderland by In my Rosary


Jul 13 2024 July 13, 2024 July 13, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Dad is coming to help me put the printer together tomorrow. I was also kind of surprised to learn some things about 3d printers…like that they’re loud (50 decibels) and smell funky and put out micro plastics in the air. Mom told me that I should inform the office of the apartments I live in that I’m installing one because of a fire hazard thing. I don’t want to tell them, personally. Because I’m sneaky and don’t want them to say I can’t. It shouldn’t be a problem. I’m not going to use it at night so the noise shouldn’t really bother anyone and I’m not placing it against the adjoining wall. It’s going in the art room. I’ll open a window for ventilation. The whatchamacallit gets pretty hot because it has to heat the filament, obviously. But I don’t think it’s any worse than a stove, and not nearly as hot. I just don’t see a problem. If they were to say I can’t have it, I’ll store it in mom and dad’s basement until I hopefully get my own house. I’ve got some things up my sleeve for the future.

I learned I have a stupid inspection in a week or so. It feels like we just had one. I hate it. Bleh.

The surgery on my right eye is Wednesday at 6:15 am. I have to start taking three eye drops three times a day tomorrow. Also I have to close my eyes for five minutes with each drop. I have to take them for a whole month after too.

Weight loss center hasn’t called back with a date yet. I feel impatient. I need a date. My stupid wound has closed up but left a nasty, red scar. That shouldn’t be a problem though…I hope.


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Jul 12 2024 July 12, 2024 July 12, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I got my printer yesterday, and I don’t know how hard it’ll be to assemble. There aren’t too many parts….there’s the frame and a few other parts and a few smaller pieces. I got a spool of filament and they are bigger than I expected. Really, the whole thing is bigger than I thought. Not a problem though. Dad is supposed to come over Sunday and help me put it together. 😃


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Jul 11 2024 July 11, 2024 July 11, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I wish I still knew how to make friends. I’m so lonely. I just want one or two people to hang out, and do stuff with. People who won’t judge me for my looks or how I dress. Maybe even people who are the same as me. I feel like I forgot how to have a real conversation so I’m usually pretty quiet in a group setting….like when I used to go out with my old friends and they’d totally ignore me so I just sat there quietly. I don’t want that type of friends. I just want to be acknowledged…maybe even accepted?


Jul 10 2024 July 10, 2024 July 10, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Soooooo…apparently I can’t eat a sandwich like a normal human being. I’ve kind of known that for a long time, but the other day was ridiculous. I got a medium roast beef and cheese from Arby’s and the second I bit into it, my entire face was covered in red ranch and cheese sauce. All over my glasses too. Wtf


Jul 07 2024 July 7, 2024 July 7, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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Trying to get back into my old Neopets account that I made in 2000 or 2001. I sent in a ticket, hope I gave enough info for them to help me out. My Zubat must be starving after 20+ years!

I’m also trying to get back my last.fm account from 2008. I ruined my current one when I had a manic episode and deleted over half my plays. I guess it’s a good thing I do harmless stuff when that happens but it’s still fucking annoying and I’m still kicking myself for doing that! The old account doesn’t have that many plays/artists on it but it’s more accurate to me.

I was looking for 3D model files to print (printer should be here by the tenth) and found some really cool ones. The are some Silent Hill ones I’ll print out and paint, maybe sell them on Etsy or something. I wish I understood 3D modeling enough to make my own. I tried blender a few years back and it was so difficult, I couldn’t even get through a tutorial. It was so confusing. I wish I could find an easier program for idiots like myself.


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Jul 04 2024 July 4, 2024 July 4, 2024 NoComment by Eden

Omg

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I just got something I’ve been wanting for years. I got a 3D printer! I’m only paying about 25$ a month for it, thank gods for Affirm…it comes with a spool of black filament. Let’s hope I can successfully put it together!

It’s an Elegoo Neptune 4 Plus.

Went thrifting today and didn’t find a damn thing which is hard to believe because that Goodwill in Hickory is a fucking labyrinth of clothes…I found ONE shirt but it was the wrong color. I really like those crushed velvet shirts like the ones I had back in the 90s, and I’m always on the lookout for one, especially in black. I had some really cool ones. Clothes were just cooler then.


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Jul 01 2024 July 1, 2024 July 1, 2024 NoComment by Eden

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I went thrifting at my favorite Goodwill today and was looking through the huge rack of dresses. I found the most beautiful black velvet cheongsam. It’s kinda small but not too small, I really want to fit into it if I can lose enough weight. It’s so pretty. It’s a bit slim in the hips though. I couldn’t NOT buy it though, it’s too beautiful. I swear to god I’ll fit into it if it KILLS me!

I found several others, a couple of black lacy goth-ish ones and one with taco cats all over 😆 I’ll edit with pictures later.

Ate at longhorn because I got paid today. Absolutely stuffed. I ate too much and wasn’t even able to finish my steak. They weren’t kidding when they called it “well marbled” because holy fuck it was difficult to eat. I kind of got tired of fighting for my food and gave up lol I mean god damn that’s a lot of tough fat. I had to take it home.

I bought two bariatric cookbooks off Amazon, one for food in the appropriate portions and one for healthy smoothies also in the proper size. I also got an insulated lunch bag that comes with tiny cutlery and plastic snack containers in the specific portions I’ll need. I’m definitely preparing well. I should be scheduled for surgery sometime in August. The bariatric center hasn’t called back with a specific date yet. I just can’t believe it is finally happening! I’ve been trying for this surgery since 2011. I did it. I’m pretty proud of myself.


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